Apparently, advice for drivers to keep their eyes on the road and hands on the steering wheel is going unheeded.
That's according to a survey released by Progressive Insurance, in which 69 percent of those queried admit eating while driving, while 12 percent apply makeup or shave, 44 percent talk on a cell phone and incredibly enough 7 percent read a newspaper or book.
The survey also found men are more likely than women to speed, exhibit road rage, steer without their hands, have someone else steer and take illegal short cuts.
The poll of 29,981 people taken between May 17 and July 1, 2000, also found that drivers of sport-utility vehicles were more likely to eat behind the wheel than drivers of other vehicles. SUV and sports car drivers are more likely to shout and swear at other drivers to express anger,
followed closely by minivan drivers.

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER"

Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH, SURE HONEY, OR YES, DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. Its a conditioned response.

''IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXLPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works"

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD''

Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

''THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR.'

Translated: "Are you still talking"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: " I can remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned, but I forgot your birthday"

''OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL"

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt"

"I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING''

Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon"

''I CAN'T FIND IT.''

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hand, so I'm completely clueless""

''WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

''I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"

Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!"

Translated: "Oh please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.''

Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.'

Translated: "I make the messes; She cleans up."

If you're a healthy, full grown adult, your thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

QUOTE: Humans are the only creation that cries.

QUOTE: If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform. – Mary Wilson Little

QUOTE: I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. – Samuel Johnson

A VIRTUOUS MAN
10 Who can find a virtuous man? For his worth is far above chocolate.
11 The heart of his wife safely trusts him; So he will have no dalliance with bimbos.
12 He does her good and not evil All the days of his life.

13 He seeks motor oil and socket wrenches, And willingly works with his hands.
14 He is like the personal shopper, He brings her food from Harrod's (or Fortnum's, in a pinch)
15 He also rises while it is yet night, And makes coffee for her household, And feedeth the cats.
16 He considers a stock and buys it; From his profits he invests in a mutual fund.
17 He girds himself with sensitivity, And learns the art of listening.
18 He perceives that his benefits are good, And his lamp does not go out by night, unless his Beloved desires his presence.
19 He stretches out his hands to the stove, And his hand holds the spatula.
20 He extends his hand to the poor, Yes, he reaches out his hands to the needy. (Can't improve on that one)
21 He is not afraid of snow for his household, For all his household is stocked with batteries, a kerosene heater, and kitty litter for icy spots
22 He takes an interest in the laundry, and yea, can wield an iron and the can of spray starch. And his socks match.
23 His wife is known in the congregation, when she sits on the Vestry.
24 He remembers birthdays and writeth his own cards, And helps with the Christmas shopping and wrapping.
25 Sensitivity and openness are his clothing; he shall rejoice in sessions with the marriage counselor.

26 He opens his mouth with sharing, And on his tongue is the law of Sharing His Feelings.
27 He watches not over-muchly of sporting events, And does not eat the potato chips of idleness.
28 His children rise up and call him Daddy, especially when his wife is down with the flu; His wife also, and she praises him:

29 "I can't believe you did the dishes all by yourself."
30 Charm is deceitful (just look at Bill Clinton) and hunkiness is passing, But a man who fears the LORD, he shall be praised.
31 Give him a beer, And let his own works praise him in the women's group.
32 He developeth not a pot belly nor 5 o'clock shadow nor belcheth at the dinner table. He notices not his wife's varicose veins or cellulite.
33 He rejoices in his wife's spending sprees to keepeth herself lovely for him and falls at her feet to worship her. He obliges her not to adorn herself with cheap polyester..

SEMINARS FOR MEN
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn’t Mean You Can Fix It

GENERATION X-THE FIRST TRULY POSTMODERN GENERATION
GenXers are those born between 1965 and 1981. They are also often referred to as Baby Busters. There are 38 million GenXers in America, and they are marked by the following items:
· Over 50% come from broken homes.
· Their median income declined by 11% in the 80's, while for all other age groups it rose by 6.5%.
· 58% of Gen Xers still live with their parents.
· They are twice as likely to drink "to get drunk", and three times as likely to commit suicide as the Boomer generation.
· They are personified in the pop singer Madonna, ever changing and ungrounded, sensation with substance.
· They are searching for authenticity. They prefer honesty over politeness. They are more drawn to honest failure than trumped up success.
· Their ideals and concerns are demonstrated in the novels of Douglas Coupland.
· They desire strong relationships. They are longing for the close family they never had. Their TV show is not "Father Knows Best", it is "Friends."
· 81% of them don't believe in absolute truth.

"THE CHURCH AND GENERATION X"
Members of Generation X usually will not come to the church in the traditional steps associated with the Boomer and Builder generations. For GenXers, the conversion process will bring them into community before they come to Christ.

The Postmodern Conversion Process
Discontentment with life
Confusion over meaning
Contact with Christians
Conversion to Community
Commitment to Christ
Commitment to the Ministry of Reconciliation

CRY ME A RIVER Uncle John’s Great Big Bathroom Reader (11^th edition) p. 225

Curiously, of all earthly creatures, only humans seem to shed emotional tears… Tears of emotional stress also appear relatively late in infant development. Unhappy newborns often cry tearlessly until they are several days old or even until weeks after they are born. But challenge them with an eye irritant, and they can spill tears at birth.

PHILOSOPHER WEAKNESS Carl Woodbury in A Lost Preacher Saved

When I graduated (from Wake Forest) I had a double major in Greek and English and double minor in Philosophy and Psychology and History.

I shall always be grateful for the course in Philosophy. It was a turning point. In my study, I discovered that all philosophers died; that new men rehashed their thought, adding and taking away; and then they died. And yet, after several thousand years of this process, man had been unable to know God through human reasoning. It made a profound impression on my mind.

QUOTE: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. – Comedian Lily Tomlin

Diogenes was looking attentively at a large collection of human bones piled one upon another. Alexander the Great took note of what was going on and asked the philosopher what he was looking for.

"I am searching for the bones of your father," answered Diogenes, "but I cannot distinguish them from those of his slaves."

A fellow walked into a bookstore and asked the woman behind the counter, "Have you got a book called, Man, the Master of Women?

"Try the fiction section," said the woman.

OUR DEEPEST NEED How to Enjoy Your Life & Your Job by Dale Carnegie, p 83

What do you want? Not many things, but the few things that you do wish, you crave with an insistence that will not be denied. Some of the things most people want include:

1. Health and the preservation of life

2. Food

3. Sleep

4. Money and the things money will buy

5. Life in the hereafter

6. Sexual gratification

7. The well being of our children

8. A feeling of importance

Almost all these wants are usually gratified - all except one. But there is one longing - almost as deep, that is seldom gratified. It is what Freud calls "the desire to be great." it is what Dewey calls the "the desire to be important."

Lincoln once began a letter saying: "Everybody likes a compliment." William James said: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." He didn't speak, mind you, of the "wish" or the "desire" or the "longing" to be appreciated. He said the "craving" to be appreciated.

Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and "even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies."

The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals. To illustrate: When I was a farm boy out in Missouri, my father bred fine Duroc jersey hogs and pedigreed white-faced cattle. We used to exhibit our hogs and white-faced cattle at the country fairs and livestock shows throughout the Middle West. We won first prizes by the score. My father pinned his blue ribbons on a sheet of white muslin, and when friends or visitors came to the house, he would get out the white sheet of muslin. He would hold one end and I would hold the other while he exhibited the blue ribbons.

The hogs didn't care about the ribbons they had won. But Father did. These prizes gave him a feeling of importance.

FAMOUS STRUGGLES FOR IMPORTANCE How to Enjoy Your Life & Your Job by Dale Carnegie, p 85

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I'll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you. For example, John D. Rockefeller got his feeling of importance by giving money to erect a modern hospital in Peking, China, to care for millions of poor people whom he had never seen and never would see. Dillinger, on the other hand, got his feeling of importance by being a bandit, a bank robber and killer. When the FBI agents were hunting him, he dashed into a farmhouse up in Minnesota and said, "I'm Dillinger!" He was proud of the fact that he was Public Enemy Number One. "I'm not going to hurt you, but I'm Dillinger!" he said.

Yes, the one significant difference between Dillinger and Rockefeller is how they got their feeling of importance.

History sparkles with amusing examples of famous people struggling for a feeling of importance. Even George Washington wanted to be called "His Mightiness, the president of the United States"; and Columbus pleaded for the title "Admiral of the Ocean and the Viceroy of India." Catherine the Great refused to open letters that were not addressed to "Her Imperial Majesty"; and Mrs. Lincoln, in the White House, turned upon Mrs. Grant like a tigress and shouted, "How dare you be seated in my presence until I invite you!"

Our millionaires helped finance Admiral Byrd's expedition to the Antarctic in 1928 with the understanding that ranges of icy mountains would be named after them; and Victor Hugo aspired to have nothing less than the city of Paris renamed in his honor. Even Shakespeare, mightiest of the mighty, tried to add luster to his name by procuring a coat of arms for his family.

When I lost my Driver's license, I was required to show proof of my identity - I needed 6 points to prove my existence, of which my SS# was only 2 pts. I eventually had to dig out my car registration from glove box.

THE EYES HAVE IT Coffeebreak Workbook 3/97

Our eyes are some of the most remarkable parts of our bodies. They transform an image into electrical impulses that the brain can intercept to create an image with definition, color, and depth. Here are a few things that you might not know about your eyes:
* The muscles of your eyes move up to 100,000 times every day.

* 33% of the population have 20/20 vision.

* One out of 500 people have one blue and one brown eye.

* You cannot keep your eyes open when you sneeze.

* Men's pupils get 1/3 bigger when looking at pictures of sharks, but shrink in reaction to pictures of babies.

* Newborn babies rarely blink their eyes.

BOY, GIRL, AND BOY AGAIN by John Leo, US News 3/31/97 p. 17

"John" was an 8 month old infant when his penis was destroyed in botched surgery. On the advice of doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital, his parents decided to change him into a girl so that he might one day have a normal sex life. His testicles were removed; a rough version of a vagina was created and "John" was raised as "Joan."

This is a famous case in sexual medicine, if medicine is the correct term for what was done. (The case) has been cited over and over in psychological, medical, and women's studies textbooks as proof that, apart from the obvious genital differences, babies are all born with as sexual blank slates - male and female attributes are invented and applied by society.

Now all those texts will have to be rewritten. More than 30 years after "John" became "Joan," word finally comes that the change was a failure from the start. "No support exists" for the blank slate theory "that individuals are psychosexually neutral at birth." This conclusion is reported in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine by Milton Diamond, a sexologist, and Keith Sigmundson, a psychiatrist.

The young Joan picked trucks and a machine gun as toys, frequently ripped off her dresses, and imitated her father shaving. Despite the lack of a penis, she insisted on urinating standing up. Thrown out of girls' bathroom at school, she moved to the boys' lavatory and used a urinal. At 12, she received hormones to make her breasts grow, but she hated her breasts and refused to wear a bra.

Therapists couldn't persuade Joan to accept her role as a girl, as theory said she should. Instead, she "felt like a trapped animal" and threatened suicide. When she was 14, her father tearfully told her she was a boy. "All of a sudden everything clicked," Joan said. "For the first time things made sense and I understood who and what I was." Joan had a mastectomy, got male hormone shots, and began living as a boy. At age 16, he bought a van with a bed and a bar and started to pursue girls. At 25, he married a woman with 3 children, and now at age 34 he is reportedly self-assured and content, although bitter that his castration means he can never have a child of his own.

Why was this disastrous experiment undertaken?... It was a chance to prove a rising academic and feminist theory about gender. The doctor in charge of the case a t Johns Hopkins was John Money, a psychologist and well known figure in sexology who believed that almost all sex differences are culturally determined.

In December 1972, when Joan was about to turn 10 (and, as we now know, fiercely fighting her life as a female), Money reported at a scientific convention that John's change was an apparent success. Time magazine reported that "this dramatic case ... provides strong support for a major contention of women's liberationists: that conventional patterns of masculine and feminine behavior can be altered. It also casts doubt on the theory that major sex differences, psychological as well as anatomical, are immutably set by the genes at conception."...

Though many attempts have been made to turn infants with damaged or ambiguous genitals into females, diamond and Sigmundson say there is no known case where "a 46 chromosome, XY male, unequivocally so at birth, has ever easily and fully accepted an imposed life" as a heterosexual female. Money has given no interviews, on the ground that John has not given written permission for him to speak....

Daphne Patai, co-author of Professing Feminism, writes that some hard line campus feminists believe that even morning sickness and pain of childbirth are socially created by the patriarchy. She predicts that they will just shrug off the John-Joan case. "The whole point of being an ideologue is that new information doesn't disturb your world view," she says.

REHABILITATION LEADS TO CRIMINAL J. Furman Kearley 20th CC

A rehabilitation counselor took an early retirement to spend the rest of his life preaching the Gospel. Early in his career he found a young boy with several birth defects. He arranged financial and medical help. Skilled surgeons restored the child's facial appearance. Trained therapists taught him to speak and walk. By his teens, the boy was able to take part in all the activities of other young people.

"What do you think has become of this young man?" the counselor asked. One guessed he was a great athlete; another, a skilled surgeon. "No, none of these," the retired counselor said sadly. "The young man is a prisoner, serving a life sentence for murder. We were able to restore his physical features and his ability to walk and act, but we failed to teach him where to walk and how to act. I was successful in helping the boy physically, but I failed to help him spiritually. Thus, I have determined to use the rest of my life to help people direct their steps and actions toward glorifying God."

RITA RUDNER EXPLAINS MEN R.Digest 12/94 p. 144

- Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

- Men are very confident. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on TV, he thinks if he concentrates he can help his team by coaching them from our living room. If the team is really in trouble, I have to stay off the phone in case they call him.

- Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald."

- Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

- Men don't get cellulite. God just might be a man.

- Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."

- All men would still really like to own a train set.

--Rita Rudner's Guide to Men, (Viking Penguin)

MEET MR. AVERAGE By Earl Creps of Bath Maine, in Christian Standard 1/9/94

According to Men's Health magazine, the average American man is:

*Five feet 9 inches tall and weighs 175 pounds.

*Married-1.8 years older than his wife and would marry her again.

*Earns $28,605 per year.

*Prefers showering to taking a bath.

*Does not know his cholesterol count, but it's 211.

*Watches 26 hours and 44 minutes of TV a week.

*Takes out the garbage in his household.

*Cries about once a month-one-fourth as much as Jane Doe.

* Will not stop to ask for directions when he's in the car.

In his book, The Great Divide, Daniel Weiss reported that, on a scale of 1 to 10, the males surveyed felt their position on the road to the American dream was about 5.7. If the dream is defined as the belief that ultimate happiness will result from an endless series of upward economic moves, Mr. Average feels he is about halfway there. Sixty percent of men think their greatest achievement is still ahead.

Could the cruel hoax of offering Mr. Average happiness in exchange for his whole life be one reason why there is a seven-year difference between male and female expectancy?

Could it be why 17 of the 19 people arrested every minute are men?

Could this be why there are five male alcoholics for every female alcoholic? '

Could it be one reason men commit 26,000 of our 31,000 suicides each year?

Mr. Average may be killing himself to have more of the things that he cannot hang onto anyway. His hope is that one day, if he gets enough, he will be a real man.

Mr. Average's role-playing, however, is becoming increasingly destructive of his relationship with Ms. Average. A Roper poll recently compared women's attitudes toward men today versus 20 years ago. Gary Langer explained the results: "American women see most men as lecherous, egotistical slobs. . . . The national poll . . . found increasing numbers of women expressing annoyance at sexism and describing men as manipulative, oversexed, and mean." Forty-two percent of women called men "basically selfish and self-centered."

If you could condense the entire history of man in a 50 year span, here is how it would read:

* The first 45 years nothing significant would happen.

* 5 years ago man began to have some type of primitive writing and communication.

* 2 years ago Christianity came into being.

* 5 months ago the most important invention the world has ever known, the printing press, came into being.

* 20 days ago Ben Franklin proved that lightning and electricity were the same thing.

* 19 days ago the telephone was invented.

* 18 days ago, a couple of high school dropouts invented the airplane.

* 10 days ago a radio came into being.

* 5 days ago a television.

* and 5 minutes ago, jet airplanes.

THE SIZE OF MANKIND The Wit and Wisdom of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

An astronomer once remarked to Bishop Fulton J. Sheen:

"To an astronomer, man is nothing but an infinitesimal dot in an infinite universe.

"An interesting point of view," remarked the bishop, "but you seem to forget that your infinitesimal dot of a man is still the astronomer.

FEARFULLY & WONDROUSLY MADE Pulpit Helps July 1992, p. 121

The Psalmist said, "I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Ps. 139:14). Shakespeare said, "What a piece of work is man!" Think about what God has made:

The ears: A piano has 88 keys, but each of your ears has a keyboard with 1500 keys. They are so finely tuned that you can hear the blood funning through your vessels. The outside of your ear can catch up to 73,700 vibrations per second.

The eyes: They are both microscopes and telescopes. They can gaze into and see a star millions of miles away, or inspect the smallest insect.

The feet: Did you know that each foot has 26 bones, none of which is wider than your thumb? But it is so "manufactured" (arched) with its ligaments, tendons, muscles and joints that a 300 pound man can put all his weight on these tiny bones.

The heart: Its size is about like your fist, but pumps (beats) 4320 times per hour. In a year that would mean 40 million beats. A drop of blood can make a round trip in your circulatory system in only 22 seconds.

What if God set you a bill for this marvelous body we live in? But God does not send us bills. He just loves us and takes care of us. Can we do anything less than to return His love? We show Him our love by obedience to His Word and by faithful stewardship of that which He has entrusted to us.

In 24 hours the average adult accomplishes much:

Your heart beats 103,689 times

Your blood travels 168,000,000 miles

You breathe 23,040 times

You inhale 438 cubic feet of air

You eat 3 1/2 pounds of food

You drink 2.9 quarts of liquid

You lose 7/8 pound of waste

You speak 4,800 words

You move 750 muscles

Your nails grow .000046 inch

You exercise 7,000,000 brain cells

It's no wonder you feel tired!

Your body contains enough iron to make a small nail,

Enough salt to fill an ordinary shaker

Enough sugar to fill a small bowl

Enough lime to whitewash a small chicken coop

Enough phosphorus to make a dozen matches

Enough fat to fill a twelve pound pail

Enough albuminoids to replace the whites of one hundred eggs.

MYSTERIES OF MAN from "The Hand Science Answer Book" compiled by the Science Technology of Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh.

How often do we blink? The human eye blinks about once every 5 seconds. Assuming 16 waking hours, the average person blinks about 11,500 times a day or 4.2 million times a day.

How much force does a human bite generate? Your jaw muscles can close the teeth with a force as great as 55 pounds on the incisors and 200 pounds on the molars. Forces greater than 268 pounds for molars have been reported.

How many hairs do we have on our head? The average person has approximately 100,000. Redheads have about 90,000 and brunettes somewhere in between. Most people shed 50 to 100 hairs daily.