Maurice Boardman has found a place where things are somewhat unusual!

I'm sure there are many more apparent upside-downities once you realize where this all happens ----- in the dictionary.

YOU’VE JUST TORN THE DATE OFF OUR CALENDAR R.Digest 10/99 p. 141 Mary D. Jenkins from Fountain City, CA

My sister Carol rushed into a store, glanced around and took a number. She heard the clerk call out "87," just as she looked down and saw her own number was 8.

Carol was puzzled, because there were only 3 other people in the store. She went to the counter and, holding up her ticket, said, "Miss, I have number 8. Can you tell me how many people are ahead of me in line?"

The saleswoman looked at Carol. "Honey,’ she told her, "you’ve just torn the date off our calendar."

COLLEGIATE RIGHT TO SILENCE R.Digest

On the first day of an American history class at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights. The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response, the professor said, "All right. Name five."

Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated prof begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."

To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, "I have the right to remain silent."

NAME THAT TUNE R.Digest 9/82 p.29

Arthur Lintgen, a suburban Philadelphia physician, has the ability to "read" the grooves on a phonograph record and identify the music on it - with the label and other identifying marks covered. Lintgen simply holds a disc flat in front of him, turning it slightly this way and that, and peers along its grooves. After a few seconds he calmly announces, as the case may be, Stravinsky's "The Rite Of Spring" or Strauss's "Alpine" Symphony.

A passionate music buff, the doctor has been regaling friends with the stunt for five years. All phonograph grooves vary minutely, depending on the dynamics and frequency of the music on them. Lintgen says that grooves containing soft passages look black. As the music gets louder or more complex, the grooves turn silvery. He limits his deciphering to orchestral works from Beethoven on, an area of repertory he knows especially well. Once he recognized Beethoven's 5th from across the room.

Percentages

1. Smell 1

2. Touch 1.5

3. Taste 3.5

4. Hearing 11

5. Seeing 88

Percentages

1. That which is read 10

2. That which is heard 20

3. That which is seen 30

4. Seen & Heard 50

5. Said & Heard 70

6. Said & Done 90

I PUT THEM THERE R.Digest 6/77 p. 135

Visiting Maine, I was thrilled to be going with a lobsterman on a tour of his pots. At 5 a.m. we set forth in a thick fog, chugging along rapidly, the lobsterman chatting all the time. After about a half hour, he slowed the engine and grabbed a boat hook. Reaching over the side, he pulled up a lobster pot. I was flabbergasted. "How did you know it was there?" I asked.

"Why," he drawled, "I put 'er there."

LAST MINUTE TAX RETURN R.Digest 4/78 p. 109

The last minute rush of income tax returns makes work at the post office hectic on the night of April 15th.

"When's the latest I can bring in my tax forms and get the April 15th postmark?" asked one distraught caller, who phoned at 11:30pm. She was told that we accepted returns until midnight.

"Oh, good!" she said. "Where do I get the forms?"

A DUMMY THERMOSTAT r.digest December 1973

A representative of the gas company phoned the owner of an expensive new home to make an appointment for the service man to come in and light the gas pilots and adjust the furnace. The owner said he's better meet the man, or he'd never get the furnace going. The caller insisted that his people were well trained and would have no trouble.

"You don't understand," the owner said, "When your man tries to adjust the furnace he'll go out of his mind. The thermostat in the entry hall is a dummy for my wife to play with. Only I know where the real one is hidden.