WHY DO WE "EAT HUMBLE PIE?" Why do Cowboys wear High Heels? Jeff Rovin

In the Middle Ages, eating humble pie was something people did literally. "Umbles pie" was a meal consisting of the stringy or fatty remains of an animal (from the Latin lubulus, or loin), usually a deer. People who ate it were poor and, thus, humble. By the 16^th century, well-to-do people who had gotten too big for their britches were admonished to go out and eat umbles pie. Eventually, "umbles" was replaced by "humble."

QUOTE: The smaller we become, the more room God has to work.

BIRD CAGE

A young pastor was pleased that a particular woman in his congregation always asked for copies of his sermons. One day his pride got the better of him and he asked her about it. "Oh," she responded brightly, "they're just the perfect size for the bottom of my bird cage!"

ALI’S ADVICE Jet Magazine

Muhammad Ali has never been known to mince words, and his message to students at New York City’s New School for Social Research was no exception:
Stay in College

Get the knowledge

Stay there till you’re through.

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread,

They can sure make something out of you.

Sometime, when you’re feeling important

Sometime, when your ego’s in bloom

Sometime when you take it for granted,

You’re the bet qualified man in the room.

Sometime when you feel that your going,

Would leave an unfillable hole,

Just follow this simple instruction,

And see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,

Put your had in it, up to your wrist,

Pull it out, and the hole that’s remaining,

Is a measure of how you’ll be missed.

You may splash all you please when you enter,

You can stir up the water galore,

But stop, and you’ll find in a minute

That it looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example

Is do just the best that you can

Be proud of yourself, but remember,

There is no indispensable man.

QUOTE: Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly!

Dave Thomas, founder of WENDY'S HAMBURGERS is the only founder among America's big companies whose picture in the corporate annual report shows him wielding a mop and a plastic bucket. That wasn't a gag either, it was done intentionally so that he could lead by example! At Wendy's an MBA does not mean a "MASTER OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, it means MOP BUCKET ATTITUDE! Service at the lowest levels make for great success.

QUOTE: Don’t worry about swallowing your pride. It has no cholesterol.

At sporting events it’s the skybox seat, or the seat on the fifty-yard line or the seat directly behind home plate. These places command the best view and the highest price. They also carry the greatest bragging potential. ("I have bottom deck, front row seats to tonight’s Blazer/Bulls game!" "Wow! How’d you get so lucky?")

This desire for the best seat in the house shows up in many places. Watch people in a parking lot sometime. The best parking places are usually the ones closest to the front door. I’ve seen people nearly collide, competing for that one open spot near the door! The spaces way out on the other end of the lot are seldom taken unless the lot is full or employees are required to park in them.

At a concert, the best seat in the house is probably the one closest to the musicians. Maybe and even better one might be a backstage seat where you get to meet the performers.

When you have a guest to your house and invite them to sit down, don’t you give them the best seat? If one of your kids is sitting there, you ask him to move.

What do you suppose is the best seat in the church building? The back seat, of course! I know that because it’s the one that fills up first. We never have to hang "reserved" signs on the front benches. Why? Maybe because it’s the farthest seat from the preacher.

Diplomatic negotiating teams spend hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars and many hours getting the seating just right so that visiting dignitaries are afforded proper honor by the placement of their chairs. A slip here can mean that countries go to war.

I seem to remember two disciples of Jesus named James and John getting into this "best seat" thing when Jesus asked them in Mark 10:36-37, "What do you want Me to do for you?" And they said to Him, "Grant that we may sit in Your glory, one on Your right, and one on Your left." They wanted the best seats in the kingdom - the places of honor and prestige. It’s a natural thing for the natural man.

THANKS FROM DR. MAYO Bits & Pieces 3/3/94 P. 24

While she was enjoying a transatlantic ocean trip, Billie Burke, the famous actress noticed that a gentleman at the next table was suffering from a bad head cold.

"Are you uncomfortable?" she asked sympathetically. The man nodded.

"I’ll tell you just what to do about it." She offered. "Go back to your stateroom and drink lots of orange juice. Take two aspirins. Cover yourself with all the blankets you can find. Sweat the cold out. I know just what I’m talking about. I’m Billie Burke from Hollywood."

The man smiled warmly and introduced himself in return. "Thanks," he said, "I’m Dr. Mayo from the Mayo Clinic."

HE’S A NICE KID AND HE DESERVES IT Bits & Pieces12/10/92 p. 6

The only person who ever presented an Oscar to himself was Irving Berlin. He opened the envelope for the Best Song of 1942 and announced, "Irving Berlin, for White Christmas."

He was momentarily nonplussed and said, "I’m glad to present this award. I’ve known this fellow for a long time. He’s a nice kid and I think he deserves it."

I, I, I, I How to Enjoy Your Life & Your Job by Dale Carnegie, p 118

People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves - morning, noon and after dinner. The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study of telephone conversations to find out which word is the most frequently used. You have guessed it: it is the personal pronoun "I." "I.." "I." It was used 3900 times in 500 telephone conversations.

POEM: A lion met a tiger as they drew beside a pool

Said the tiger, "Tell me why you're roaring like a fool"

"That's not foolish," said the lion with a twinkle in his eyes.

"They call me king of all the beasts because I advertise."

A rabbit heard the talking and ran home like a streak;

He thought he'd try the lion's plan, but his roar was just a

squeak.

A fox came to investigate - had luncheon in the woods,

So when you advertise, my friend, be sure you've got the goods.

TOUCH NOT THE GLORY - POEM Pulpit Helps 11/96 p. 9

God said "My glory will I not share with another" (Isaiah 42:8) prompting the following poem:

Have you been called to serve where others tried and failed?

But with God's help and strength YOUR efforts have prevailed?

Touch not the glory.

Has God appointed you to some great, noble cause?

Or put you where you hear the sound of men's applause?

Touch not the glory.

Have you some special gift? Some riches you can share?

Or have you learned the art of intercessory prayer?

Touch not the glory.

A watching world still waits to see what can be done,

Through one who touches not that which is God's alone...

Touch not the glory!

POEM - A SPEAKER'S FEET IN MOUTH Bits and Pieces 3/2/95 4/27/95 p. 6

Every speaker has a mouth

An arrangement rather neat.

Sometimes it's filled with wisdom

Sometimes it's filled with feet Robert Orben

GRADUATING BY THE SKIN OF YOUR TEETH R.Digest 12/96 p.201 (Johnny Zavala)

The ceremonies at my graduation from Baylor University in Texas followed the tradition until the new president, Robert B. Sloan, stepped up to the rostrum to confer the degrees. "Honors are interpreted as follows," he said proudly. "Cum laude, with honors. Magna cum laude, with high honors. And there's a new honor I plan to use in the future to be called Magna cum pliidentium. It means 'by the skin of your teeth.'"

A professional basketball player who was not known for his high scoring ability had once shot two free throws the night that Michael Jordan had scored an eye popping 69 points. Questioned later by a newsman several weeks later, he was asked to cite the highlight of his career. Smiling he replied, "The night Michael Jordan and I scored 71 points."

SECOND FIDDLE Charles Swindoll "Improving Your Serve"

I watched Leonard Bernstein, the famous orchestra conductor, perform one evening on television. During an informal time of discussion on the program, I recall one admirer asked: "Mr. Bernstein, what is the most difficult instrument to play!"

He responded with quick wit:

"Second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who plays Second violin with as much enthusiasm or second French horn or second flute, now that's a problem. And yet if no one plays second, we have no harmony.

THE POWER OF MEEKNESS Charles Swindoll "Improving Your Serve"

The third character trait Jesus includes in His portrait of a servant is gentleness. "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth" (v. 5).

Immediately, we may get a false impression. We think, "Blessed are the weak for they shall become doormats." In our rough-and-rugged individualism, we think of gentleness as weakness, being soft, and virtually spineless. Not so! The Greek term is extremely colorful, helping us grasp a correct understanding of why the Lord sees the need for servants to be gentle. It is used several ways in extra-biblical literature:

- A wild stallion that has been tamed, brought under control, is described as being "gentle."

- Carefully chosen words that soothe strong emotions are referred to as "gentle" words.

- Ointment that takes the fever and sting out of a wound is called "gentle."

- In one of Plato's works, a child asks the physician to be tender as he treats him. The child uses this term "gentle."

- Those who are polite, who have tact and are courteous, and who neat others with dignity and respect are called "gentle" people.

QUOTE: No man ever choked to death swallowing his own pride. - The Bible Friend

... he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. Matthew 23:12

A truly humble man is hard to find, yet God delights to honor such selfless people. Booker T. Washington, the renowned black educator, was an outstanding example of this truth. Shortly after he took over the presidency of Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. he was walking in an exclusive section of town when he was stopped by a wealthy white woman. Not knowing the famous Mr. Washington by sight, she asked if he would like to earn a few dollars by chopping wood for her. Because he had no pressing business at the moment, Professor Washington smiled, rolled up his sleeves, and proceeded to do the humble chore she had requested. When he was finished. he carried the logs into the house and stacked them by the fireplace. A little girl recognized him and later revealed his identity to the lady. The next morning the embarrassed woman went to see Mr. Washington in his office at the Institute and apologized profusely.

"It's perfectly all right, Madam." he replied. "Occasionally I enjoy a little manual labor. Besides, it's always a delight to do something for a friend." She shook his hand warmly and assured him that his meek and gracious attitude had endeared him and his work to her heart. Not long afterward she showed her admiration by persuading some wealthy acquaintances to join her in donating thousands of dollars to the Tuskegee Institute.

In the years 1014-1035 there ruled over England a Danish king named Canute. King Canute tired of hearing his retainers flatter him with extravagant praises of his greatness, power and invincibility. He ordered his chair to be set down on the seashore, where he commanded the waves not to come in and wet him. No matter how forcefully he ordered the tide not to come in, however, his order was not obeyed. Soon the waves lapped around his chair. One historian tells us that, therefore, he never wore his crown again, but hung it on a statue of the crucified Christ.

Socrates said, "Know yourself."

The psychiatrist says: "Express yourself"

The Counselor says: "love yourself.

The hedonist: "Enjoy Yourself."

The waiter: "Indulge yourself."

The Personnel manager: "Assert yourself."

The health aid companies: "Take care of yourself."

Leisure time industries: "Pamper yourselves."

Only Jesus says: "Deny yourself"

THE SANEST PEOPLE OF ALL Calvin L. Phillips, Emmanuel School of Religion ENVOY Sept/Oct 1987.

Peer Gynt, the hero of Ibsen's play by that title, is committed to the concept that he would "be myself." He visited an insane asylum where he assumes people will be "outside themselves." The director corrects him:

Outside themselves? Oh no, you're wrong.

It's here that men are most themselves -

Themselves and nothing but themselves -

Sailing with outspread sails of self.

Each shuts himself in a cask of self.

None has a tear for others' woes

Or cares what any other thinks.

We are ourselves in thought and voice -

Ourselves up to the very limit;

And consequently, if we want an Emperor,

it's very clear that you're the man.

It just may be that self-centeredness, selfishness, self seeking, self- indulgence, and all their cousins are nearer to insanity than to being the common sense philosophy we think they are. Our society will never develop a sense of ethics until we learn that God and not self is the center of the universe.

There are just two great philosophies of life: some have called them the givers and the takers. Nietzsche, the philosopher of Nazism, summed up one when he said "Assert yourself. Care for nothing except yourself. The only vice is weakness, the only virtue is strength. Be strong, be a superman. The world is yours if you can get it."

A little boy and a little girl were riding a mechanical horse in a shopping center. The little boy, who was riding in front turned to the girl and said "If one of us would get off, there would be more room for me."

F. B. Meyer once said: "I used to think that God's gifts were on shelves one above the other; and that the taller we grew in Christian character, the easier we could reach them. I now find that God' gifts are on shelves one beneath the other. It is not a question of growing taller but of stooping lower; that we have to go down, always down, to get His best gifts."

When personalized license plates were introduced in Illinois, the Department of Motor Vehicles received over 1000 requests for the number "1". The state official whose job it was to approve requests said, "I'm not about to assign it to someone and disappoint a thousand people." His solution? He assigned the number to himself!

The Emperor Justinian built the Church of St. Sophia, that gem of human architecture. He collected marble and treasures from all over the world to make it beautiful. At last the moment for dedication arrived. The words uttered by Justinian seemed full of humility as he said that all had been done for the glory of God. But as he allowed his eyes to drink in the beauty of the building, he could hardly contain himself. Someone heard him whisper, "Solomon, I have surpassed thee."

When a friend of mine went for physical checkup, the nurse asked him how much he weighed. He held his stomach in and replied, "160 lbs." He was immediately informed that he weighed 166 lbs. The nurse then asked him how tall he was. Standing very straight he answered, "5'10"." Not so, he was told. He was only 5'9". The nurse finally asked him what his normal blood pressure was. After looking at her for a moment he said, "How can you expect my blood pressure to be normal when I came in here a tall, slender man and you have already made me short and fat."

HAIRDO'S AND EGO R.Digest 1/86 p.102

A friend of mine who teaches Bible school had her straight hair permed in to a curly style. One morning she noticed that 4 yr. old Jack, who was usually cheerful, looked sad and bewildered. "Is something wrong, Jack?" Jenny asked him.

"Your hair," he mumbled.

"You noticed!" said Jenny. "I just had a permanent and I love it!"

"You do?" whispered Jack. "Have you seen it?"

SIZE IMPRESSES R.DIGEST 9/81 p. 126

On our first night at Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado, the sky seemed more brilliant than we had ever seen it, and the stars were so close you felt as if you could touch them.

Our three boys decided that they would put their sleeping bags out on the ground, so they could go to sleep watching the stars. We were just settling down for the night when our youngest came into the tent, d

ragging his sleeping bag with him.

What is the matter?" we asked. "Is it getting too cold?"

"No," he answered. "I just never knew I was so small."

BLESSINGS FROM HUMILITY Pulpit Helps, December 1990

When you are in the process of humbling yourself, the Lord will load you with blessings. God wants you to be like the stalk of wheat that is full of beautiful grains. The more it is loaded, the lower it stoops.

A REASON FOR POLITENESS Pulpit Helps Dec. 1990

"My boy," said a father to his son, "treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you; remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one."

BECAUSE I'M A GENTLEMEN R.Digest 3/82 p.79

One day I approached a building entrance behind a gray-haired, distinguished looking man. A young woman arrived at the same time and he held the door open for her.

She said, "Don't hold the door for me just because I'm a lady."

The man was silent for a moment, then said, "I didn't open the door because you are a lady. I opened it because I'm a gentleman."

EVEN GOD HASN'T DONE THAT R.Digest 10/81 p.78 Ralph Sockman

Julia Ward Howe was talking to Charles Sumner, the distinguished Senator from Mass.. She asked him to interest himself in the case of a person who needed help. The Senator answered, "Julia, I've become so busy I can no longer concern myself with individuals."

"Charles," she replied, "that is quite remarkable. Even God hasn't reached that stage yet."

WHO'S MORE HUMBLE R.Digest 12/87 p.89

Two men died and waited at the Pearly Gates for admission into heaven. "We've got room for only one more," Saint Peter declared. "Which one of you is more humble?"

TOUPEES AND PRIDE Time, March 16, 1992 p. 52

One particularly crooked lawyer (Harvey Myerson) was described this way "Harvey is a compulsive spender and, to some degree he can't control it," explains a friend. "Harvey had a series of toupees of different lengths, that looked like old Knute Rockne football helmets. He'd keep changing them and then at the end of the month, announce that he needed a haircut.

A TRAIT OF GREATNESS by Sydney J. Harris in R.Digest 4/77 p. 180

However diverse their talents, temperaments and differences, all great achievers have one trait in common: They never bother to compare themselves with other men, but are content to run their own race on their own terms.

THE TALMUD ON WHY GOD CREATED ONLY ONE MAN R.Digest 9/77 p.104

"Why did God create only one man? So that no one could say, 'My ancestors were nobler than yours,' or that virtue and vice are inherited, or that some races are better than others.... And to teach us that whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and that whoever saves one life earns as much merit as if he had saved the whole world."

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED R.Digest 1/79 p.103

The psychiatrist berated his patient: "After all these years you still feel guilty? You should be ashamed of yourself."

Yogi Berra, describing a high school classmate: "He was so popular nobody could stand him."

I COULD BE WRONG R.Digest 1/76 p. 156

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if we was willing to die for his beliefs, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

PICKED AS A HERO? R.Digest 10/93 p. 130

Our granddaughter's 2nd grade class was asked to write about their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.

GO TO THE FRONT DESK SE Leadership Conference, 3/94

A man visiting the Nursing Home was speaking to a resident named Mary. Leaning over her he gently inquired "Do you know my name?"

"No," she replied, "but if you go the front desk, they should be able to tell you."

I KNOW WHERE ALL THE ROCKS ARE r.digest October 1973

The new yacht owner finally persuaded his nervous wife to join him in a day of sailing. "Look," he insisted, "I've practiced enough in this harbor to know where every rock and sandbar is." At that point the boat struck a submerged rock, producing a crunch from stern to stern. "There!" said the yachtsman. "That's one of them now."

HOW WE DESCRIBE OURSELVES Health Magazine May/June 93

QUOTE: Samuel Chadwick said, "If you're successful, don't crow. If you fail, don't croak."

QUOTE: "Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with." -- Peter Marshall

John Brodie, former quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, was once asked why a million-dollar player like him should have to hold the ball for field goals and points after touchdown. "Well," said Brodie, "if I didn't, it would fall over."

Ruth Harms Calkin does a masterful job on the subject of humility in her poem:

You know, Lord, How I serve You

with great emotional fervor in the limelight.

You know how eagerly I speak for You at a Women's Club.

You know my genuine enthusiasm at a Bible study.

But how would I react, I wonder,

if You pointed to a basin of water

and asked me to wash the callused feet

of a bent and wrinkled old woman

day after day, month after month,

in a room where nobody saw and nobody knew?

WHO HAD MORE FUN, DADDY? R.Digest 3/96 p. 26

Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our 4 year old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"

"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged, "We just play to have fun."

Undaunted, Sara said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"

RELIEVING GOD OF A TERRIBLE RESPONSIBILITY "American Literary Anecdotes" by Robert Hendrickson

The story is told that a politician collared newspaper editor Horace Greeley at a convention and proudly confided to him that he was a self-made man.

"That sir," replied Greeley, "relieves the Almighty of a terrible responsibility."