It is said that when the British and French were fighting in Canada in the 1750s, Admiral Phipps, commander of the British fleet, was told to anchor outside Quebec. He was given orders to wait for the British land forces to arrive, then support them when they attacked the city. Phipps’ navy arrived early. As the admiral waited, he became annoyed by the statues of the saints that adorned the towers of a nearby cathedral, so he commanded his men to shoot at them with the ships’ cannons. No one knows how many rounds were fired or how many statues were knocked out, but when the land forces arrived and the signal was given to attack, the admiral was of no help. He had used up all his ammunition shooting at the “saints.”

WHY DON’T YOU COME TO CHURCH? Willow Creek Survey

In a door-to-door survey conducted by Willow Creek Community Church the question was asked: if you don’t go to church, why? The five biggest reasons:

• Boring,
• Irrelevant,
• Asking for money all the time,
• I’m too busy already,
• I feel awkward at church.

QUOTE: On the side of an evangelist’s van in Durban, South Africa: “Where will you spend eternity? Most people don’t decide till the 11th hour. Our service begins at 10:30.”

SAND CASTLES BUILT ON ROCKS

Growing up on the Atlantic Coast, I spent long hours working on intricate sand castles; whole cities would appear beneath my hands. One year, for several days in a row, I was accosted by bullies who smashed my creations. Finally I tried an experiment: I placed cinder blocks, rocks, and chunks of concrete in the base of my castles. Then I built the sand kingdoms on top of the rocks. When the local toughs appeared (and I disappeared), their bare feet suddenly met their match.

Many people see the church in grave peril from a variety of dangers: secularism, politics, heresies, or plain old sin. They forget that the church is built upon a Rock (Mt. 16:16), over which the gates of hell itself shall not prevail. - Gregory P. Elder

WHY I DON’T GO TO CHURCH From The Evansville Press www.courierpress.com

In my last column I asked those of you who are unchurched if you would be willing to tell me why you don’t go to church. You were willing. You wrote me long letters, emailed me, faxed me and left detailed messages on my voice mail. Some of you even asked for appointments to speak to me personally. Here’s just a sampling of the earful you gave me:

“I’m disillusioned by Christians who are abusive to others.”

“Every time I try to go and do right, bad things seem to happen.”

“It’s boring. I have better things to do on Sunday morning.”

“I wear a suit five days a week. Six days is too much!”

“I am very much unchurched and your article intrigued me. I was always extremely disappointed whenever I would try to go. Sometimes I would leave before the service was over.”

“I hate it when one church promotes its religion over all the others.”

“I think I am too selfish and lazy to look for the answers God has for me.

It’s easy to blame churches for your own indifference.”

“I’ve been wondering why I have never come to your church, since I like your views very much. Maybe I feel you’re safe at a distance.”

“I don’t want people like you (who are sometimes characterized as ‘The religious wrong’) dictating or curtailing what I or anyone else can or can’t do.”

“There is a tendency to pronounce the word ‘God’ as if it were spelled ‘Gaud.’ “

“Don’t call me. I’ll call you, maybe, but don’t hold your breath.

Seriously, pastor, I want to thank you for what seems like a serious and thoughtful attempt to find out what the unwashed heathens - like me, I suppose- are thinking. Perhaps the attempt will be productive.”

“I guess the majority of us would have to be hit in the head and made to go.”

“Well, sir, I do welcome this opportunity for catharsis. I was brought up [she names a denomination]. But they were not there for me, not one of them. I had more troubles than they cared to hear about.”

“[Church people are] hypocritical, smug, inflexible, self-interested, unloving, insensitive, insecure, ego-fragile, and dishonest with themselves about it all. [They are] narrow-minded; uninformed; insular; petty; and fad-consumer-minded more often than not. The more

fundamentalist the church, the more these qualities evidence.”

“I think: there goes all that money to pay all those preachers’ salaries as long as he doesn’t make his congregants too uncomfortable. Preachers have a real conflict-of-interests problem.

It leads at best to ineffectiveness, at worst to total soul corruption. You can’t put any teeth in your moral convictions against persistent, unconscionable sinning on the part of your best providers.”

“I was just tickled to death to find someone open enough to ask.”

“You rattled the right cage, Rev. Schwambach. I thank you. I perfectly understand that I have a store of enormous wrath within me. It is not good for me. But I regard it as fully justified and

righteous fury at atrocities! It fuels my empathy for others and energizes my determination to do right, not wrong, by others, insofar as I can distinguish.”

“It’s been five years since I have attended church regularly. Church has become a social club with gimmicks and cliques. Even pastors play favorites, while ignoring the spiritual life of the less acceptable members. Churches seem to concentrate on numbers rather than Spirit, church

buildings rather than building a church for the Lord.”

“We who have drifted away from a church are starving for God’s Word. Some of us were just not being fed, some were convicted and didn’t want to change, and some just got ‘too busy.’ I need a pastor who is spiritually stronger than I am, who can lead rather than wandering around in the wilderness not knowing right from wrong because of what society dictates. My pastor I had for ten years ran away with his secretary.”

“I have never been to a church where anyone took a sincere interest in me. The social niceties and patronizing are not appreciated without sincerity. In that case I would as soon not be bothered.”

“I am really glad to see that someone has taken an interest in the feelings of us so-called, ‘non-churched’ people. My mother-in-law is the person that is in church every time the door is open. She is on every committee and sits in on every meeting. But she is also the person that judges people by what they have on and gripes about being on every committee and meeting. It is easier to stay away from church than to sit among hypocrites like her.”

“Just because I do not go to church does not make me any less of a Christian person than the person that is in that pew every time the doors open. I may not be as vocal about my feelings as some of the do-gooders of this world that do not hesitate to downgrade people like me, but then I only have to answer to the man upstairs and I couldn’t care less what people think.”

“When church members fuss and have arguments and split - I don’t like the turmoil. I get more blessings at home watching TV ministry and reading my Bible and praying.”

“Once we attended [names church] on a Sunday morning. We sat in an empty area and a couple came in and talked so we could hear them. The man remarked about someone sitting in his seat. I was uncomfortable and I could not enjoy the service. We haven’t been back. I have a real good seat in my living room and don’t bother anyone there.”

“I am a very friendly person, but I like to be left alone during church. I regret that my children receive no spiritual guidance at all. I feel totally unqualified to give them any and don’t even know what I, myself, believe. How can I teach them? Do I pray? No, Reverend, I do not. Never.”

You told me much, much more, but that’s all I have room to share, in this column. Thank you for being so open and so honest...even when it hurt. What can I say? How about: I’m sorry. In many, many cases, we’ve let you down. But more than that, we’ve let Jesus down. He deserves better representation than we’ve given you. How about it, church-attenders...area pastors? Should we get defensive...or should we clean house? I don’t know about you, but I’m going to go get my mop and bucket.

mail@betheltemple.org - Copyright © 1997 Bethel Temple. All Rights Reserved

THE TOP CHURCHES IN INDIANA Indianapolis Star, June 27, 2004

Baptist 12%

Methodist 12%

Christian 10%

Church of Christ 4%

Nondenominational 9%

GOD’S NEVER BEEN HERE

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin.  Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged.  In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city.  It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen.  The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.  As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him.  No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him.

They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.  The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the church needed to do God’s work.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor.  “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat.  Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God about what you should wear before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear.  He says He’s never been here before.” 

QUOTE: I am of the opinion that the chief danger which confronts the coming century (the 20 th) will be religion without the Holy Spirit, Christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, politics without God, and Heaven without Hell. - William Booth.

TOUCH 1 ST BASE

Coach Bobby Bowden, football coach of Florida State University, tells this story about himself: He was playing college baseball, and he had never hit a home run. Finally he hit one down the right-field line, into the corner. He rounds first and looks to the third base coach. He turned at second, was halfway to third and the coach was still waving him on. He got to home, he hit the plate. He had his first home run, he was so excited and everybody was slapping him five. Then the pitcher took the ball, threw to the first baseman, and the umpire called him out. Coach Bowden learned this important less in his own words: “If you don’t take care of first base, it doesn’t matter what you do. If you don’t honor the Lord first, it doesn’t matter what else you do.”

THE HEALING OF PRAYER AND MUSIC

(Newsweek, November, 03) The NIH commissioned a series of papers, published earlier this year, in which scientists attempted to definitively assess the state of the faith-and-health research. Lynda H. Powell, an epidemiologist at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, reviewed about 150 papers, throwing out dozens that had flaws—those that failed to account for age and ethnicity, for example, which usually affect religiosity. In one respect, her findings were not surprising: while faith provides comfort in times of illness, it does not significantly slow cancer growth or improve recovery from acute illness. One nugget, however, “blew my socks off,” Powell says. People who regularly attend church have a 25 percent reduction in mortality—that is, they live longer—than people who are not churchgoers. This is true even after controlling for variables intrinsically linked to Sundays in the pew, like social support and healthy lifestyle. While the data were culled mainly from Christian churchgoers, Powell says the findings should apply to any organized religion. “This is really powerful,” she says.

In an effort to understand the health differences between believers and nonbelievers, scientists are beginning to parse the individual components that compose religious experience. Using brain scans, researchers have discovered that meditation can change brain activity and improve immune response; other studies have shown it can lower heart rate and blood pressure, both of which reduce the body’s stress response. (Most religions incorporate meditative practices, like chanting or prayer, into their traditions.) Even intangibles, such as the impact of forgiveness, may boost health as well. In a survey of 1,500 people published earlier this year, Neal Krause, a researcher at the University of Michigan’s School of Public Health, found that people who forgive easily tend to enjoy greater psychological well-being and have less depression than those who hold grudges. “There’s a physiology of forgiveness,” says Dr. Herbert Benson, head of the Mind/Body Medical Institute, and a host of the upcoming Harvard conference. “When you do not forgive, it will chew you up.”

A group of patients who were prayed for (by, among others, Roman Catholics and Sufi Muslims in the United States, Buddhist monks in Nepal and Jews at the Western Wall) did no better than a second group that received standard care or a third, which was given a special program of music, therapeutic touch and guided imagery. But there was one intriguing finding: a fourth “turbocharged” group, which received both prayers and the music program, had death rates 30 percent lower than any of the other patients. “Despite all the attention modern medicine has paid to new technology, it has neglected to ask what happens if you pay attention to the rest of the patient,” says Krucoff (Duke researcher Dr. Mitchell Krucoff).

SILENCE IS AN ABYSS FOR SOME Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart

Over the last decades we have been inundated by a torrent of words. Wherever we go we’re surrounded by words: words softly whispered, loudly proclaimed, angrily screamed; works spoken, recited, or sung; words on records, in books, on walls, in the sky; words in many sounds, many colors, may forms; words to be heard, read, seen, glanced at; words which flicker on and off, move slowly, dance, jump, wiggle. Words, words, word! They form the floor, walls and ceiling of our existence.

Recently I was driving through Los Angeles, and suddenly I had the strange sensation of driving through a huge dictionary. Wherever I looked there were words trying to take my eyes from the road. They said, “Use me, take me, buy men, drink me, smell me, touch me, kiss me, sleep with me.” In such a world, who can maintain respect for words.

One of our main problem is that in this chatty society, silence has become a very fearful thing. For most people, silence creates itchiness and nervousness. Many experience silence not as full and rich, but as empty and hollow. For them silence is like a gaping abyss which can swallow them up. As soon as a minister says (during a worship service) “Let us be silent for a few moments,” people tend to become restless and pre-occupied with only one thought: “When will this be over?”

SOUP TASTED LIKE COMMUNION

Dr. Fred Cradock tells of the time he was asked to speak in Winnipeg, Canada. When he wakened on Sunday morning to a couple of feet of snow his host called him at the hotel and said Fred this is surprise to us there is so much snow we can’t get to the hotel to pick you up so were going to cancel the lecture series. Fred said what shall I do? His host said well a block and a half to the right of the entrance of the hotel there is a bus depot, I know there is a deli in their and you can get something to eat there. Cradock said the place was packed but when he went in some people moved over and made room for him. Many people in there where just in to get out of the cold. He said I ordered a bowl of soup and a few minutes later someone opened the door and a shout came from inside the deli that said, “hey shut that door your letting all the warm air out”.

In came a rather unkempt woman, a couple of people made some room for her, she sat down. A large man with a greasy apron came over and asked in a loud voice, “What do you want?” She said I’ll just take a glass of water. He sat the water in front of her and said, “now what do you want?” She said, “The water is fine.” He said, “lady what do you want?” She said, “Water is fine”. He said, “Look lady there is paying customers in here either you going to have to order something else or get out.” She said, “Can I just stay in out of the cold?” He said, “No you have to order something, or leave.”

Slowly she scooted out of her seat and started to leave. But when she did the person on her right and left also got up to leave. Then the persons on each side of them got up to leave. And pretty soon everyone started to leave, and the man in the greasy apron said, “All right come on back you can stay”. She sat down and he even gave her a bowl of soup. Cradock asked the man beside him, “Who is that lady?” The man said I don’t know, but if she’s not welcome I’m not welcome. Fred Cradock said you know, as I started to eat that soup it wasn’t so bad. The matter of fact it reminded me of something I had eaten before and I couldn’t figure out why it tasted so familiar as I ate that bowl of soup. He said I left that little deli and I looked back at that woman sitting there in that atmosphere I remembered what that soup tasted like. It tasted like the bread and wine of communion.

SITTING ON THE LEAD Charles Swindoll

I have played enough sports, been in touch with enough coaches, watched enough games and read closely enough to know that there’s one strategy that’s deadly. And it’s so subtle. You think you can win by doing it, but you lose. It’s called “sitting on the lead.” If you’re an athlete or a sportsman, you know what I’m talking about.

When I was in high school, our basketball team went to state finals in Texas . In one state final game we were ahead at halftime 26 to 18. The coach said, “Now we got ‘em. We got ‘em. Just take it easy.” You know what? We lost, 41 to 40. Why? Because we tried to sit on our lead. We thought we had them beat, so we played with a maintenance mentality.

A growing church never gets so far ahead that it can afford to “sit on the lead.” Complacency is a major peril to evangelism.

FOUR SERVICESFORONECHURCH

There was a congregation that decided to have four worship services each Sunday.

There was one for those new to the faith. Another for those who liked traditional worship. One for those who’d lost their faith and would like to get it back. And another for those who had bad experiences with churches and were complaining about it.

They have names for each of the services: FINDERS, KEEPERS, LOSERS, WEEPERS

CHURCH SHOULD BE A SAD PLACE

Erma Bombeck tells about a little boy at church with his mother. He was a good little boy, quiet and well behaved. He didn’t cause any problems. But every once in a while he would stand up in the pew, turn around, look at the people behind him and smile at them.
His smile was infectious, and soon everybody behind him was starting to smile back at him, too. It was all going fine until the mother realized what the little boy was doing. When she did, she grabbed him by his ear and twisted it a bit, told him to sit down and remember that he was in church.
Then he started sniffling and crying, and she turned to him and said, “That’s better.”

AND THEY SAID THEY WERE FAITHFUL

A certain denominational church sent in its annual statistical statement, year after year, as follows:
Number of members added by baptism 0
Number of members added by letter 0
Number of members dismissed by letter 5
Number of members who have died 3
Amount raised for home missions 0
Amount raised for foreign missions 0
The note at the bottom of the report read: “Pray for us, brethren, that we continue faithful unto the end.” That’s not being faithful! That church lost 8 people but gained none! Why? Because they didn’t work at gaining any new people!

WHAT ARE THOSE BENEFITS OF ATTENDINGCHURCH?

* Longer life: Insurance studies show regular church attendance adds 5.7 years to your life.

* Wealth: The Bible is full of methods for effectively managing your money.

* Peace: There is a special peace of mind knowing God will always be there, no matter what.

* Purpose: It’s exciting to know God has a special purpose for your life and mine.

* Courage: God will give you courage and strength to make ethical and moral stands.

* Love: Learning to love others the way God loves you is a source of happiness and comfort.

* Forgiveness: Learning to forgive yourself and others can literally heal your body and your soul.

WHY THEY FIRED THE PREACHER - John M. Drescher, in “Ministry”

I don’t know how long he had been at the church when the members noticed. I’m certain he must have been on his best behavior for at least a few months.
  Some members think that the first time they noticed was the night he failed to show up for a committee. The next day he explained to a member that he had met a friend who had invited him to a community activity. “I knew you could carry on without me,” he said with a disarming smile.
  When he missed the first prayer meeting is a matter of dispute.  Some say one day and some another.  But all agree that he failed to show up a number of times.  Not that he ever failed to provide for a speaker; it was just that, well, people kind of expect the preacher to be at prayer meeting.  A member recalls one explanation: “A little job I had to get done at home,” he said.  “It wasn’t much, but it was bugging the wife.”
  Then it was a Sunday evening he missed. The members do recall that date, because just the week before, he had spoken on the brotherhood of believers and the necessity of Christian fellowship -- “so much the more as you see the day approaching,” he had quoted. “The fact is,” he explained to a member, “I wasn’t on the program, and since the whole family was at home for once, I decided to take time out to be with them.  And I was really tired and probably wouldn’t have gotten much out of the service anyway.”
  Probably all this would have been forgiven if it hadn’t been for the morning he arrived ten minutes late for the church service.  And that morning he was to be the speaker.  He didn’t give any explanation -- just marched up the aisle to the front and went on as if nothing had happened.
Before long he was late more often than not.  It got so you could almost count on his walking in with the other latecomers.  When a deacon ventured to speak to him about it, he just said he had gotten into the habit of starting late and it was hard to kick the habit.
  The whole thing came to a head the morning he didn’t show up for the service at all.  On the spur of the moment, members learned later, he had decided to go for a drive, since the fall colors were so beautiful.  “Not many nice days left,” he said. “And I thought I’d not be missed, since I met so many members on the way.”
  Well, it was then that the church board met, talked over what it meant to be a minister in their church, and decided to get a dependable minister.
  “He doesn’t even know what membership in the church means,” said one board member.
  “He doesn’t realize the importance of the church,” said another.
  The secretary summed it all up in the minutes of the meeting, after the vote to dismiss him had been passed.
  “It was clear he cannot be a minister here if he insists on acting just like the rest of the members.”

ALL FOR ONE Craig Brian Larson. Choice Contemporary Stories and Illustrations.
“According to Bill Jauss and Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune, on July 19, 1996, Chad Kreuter, a reserve catcher for the Chicago White Sox, severely dislocated and fractured his left shoulder on a play at home. He underwent surgery, and the Sox placed him on the sixty-day disabled list.
That’s the kind of thing that makes a backup player feel even less like a part of the team. But quite the opposite happened. Apparently Chad’s teammates had a strong liking for him; each player put Chad’s number 12 on his ball cap to show support. Chad was a member of the team whether he played or not.
As you can imagine, that meant a lot to Chad. Later in the season when he was able to suit up again, he showed his appreciation by, you guessed it, putting the numbers of each of his teammates on his ball cap. All devoted to one. One devoted to all. That is what makes a team, and that is what makes the community of Christ”.

EINSTEINON THE CHURCH and HITLER Arthur Cochrane The Church’s Confession under Hitler (Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1962) indicates his source: Wilhelm Niemoller in Kampf und Zeugnis der bekennenden Kirche, p.526.

“Only the Church stood squarely across the path of Hitler’s campaign for suppressing the truth. I never had any special interest in the Church before, but now I feel a great affection and admiration for it because the Church alone has had the courage and persistence to stand for intellectual and moral freedom. I am forced to confess that what I once despised I now praise unreservedly.”

THE CROSS AND THE SWASTIKA

In its column, “You Asked Us,” the Canadian Magazine recently dealt with Hitler’s use of the swastika. Included in their article was the following statement.

In the end, if his National Reich Church had been established, the swastika would have replaced the cross. Point 30 of the proposed National Reich Church’s 30-point program, drawn up during the war, read: “On the day of its foundation, the Christian cross must be removed from all churches, cathedrals, and chapels.... It must be superseded by the only unconquerable symbol, the swastika.”

History is the commentary on the folly of Hitler’s dreams and on the futility of all who would seek to destroy the Church of Christ.

STAYING SAFE Contributed by: Darren Ethier
Don’t ride in an auto – they cause 20 percent of all fatal accidents.
Do not stay at home – 17 percent of all accidents happen there.
Do not walk in the street – 15 percent of all accidents happen to pedestrians.
Do not travel by air, rail or water – 16 percent of all accidents result from these activities.
Only .001 percent of all accidents happen in church!

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

Good News: You baptized four people last Sunday

Bad News: You lost 2 others in the river’s current

Good News: You finally found a choir director who does things your way.

Bad News: The choir mutinied

Good News: Your women’s softball team won their first game ever

Bad News: They beat your church’s men’s softball team.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons

Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.”

Good News: The board just accepted 100% the job description just the way you wrote it.

Bad News: They also formed a search committee to find someone to fill the position.

CHURCH STATISTICS--Pentecostal Evangel, June 23, 2002, pg 11, Survey outlines strengths and weaknesses of churches
  An extensive study released in May 2002 depicts religious life in America as both
hopeful and cautionary.  The survey was sponsored by the Lilly Endowment and involved
interviews with 300,000 worshippers in 2,200 churches, representing 8 denominations.
The survey found that 10 percent of congregations in the United States, the largest ones,
draw 50 percent of all the people who attend worship each week.  The average church has
fewer than one hundred attendees.  50 percent of the total number of churches only serve 11
percent of the total number of worshippers each week.
   One of the major strengths the survey discovered is that 63 percent of those who attend
worship services also spend time in devotional activities such as reading the Bible, or praying
several times a week.  55 percent of these people also said they felt they had experienced
growth in their faith in the past year. Yet less than half of regular worship attendees are involved
in a small group, such as a Sunday School class, or Bible study outside of worship services. 

THAT’S WHERE I USED TO GO

  A man was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man.
  After a while the sailor asks, “What are those three huts you have here?”
  “Well, that’s my house there.”
  “What’s that next hut?” asks the sailor.
  “I built that hut to be my church.”
  “What about the other hut?”
  “Oh, that’s where I used to go to church.”

DON’T NEED TO BE A CHURCH TO BE A CHRISTIAN? Don Hawks

A lot of people say, “I want to be a Christian but I don’t need a church.” That’s like saying, “I want to play football in the NFL but not be a part of any particular team…. I want to be a soldier but not have a platoon. … I want to be an explorer but not have a base camp. …. I want to play a tuba but not be in an orchestra…. I want to be a sailor without a ship--a bee without a hive.” A Christian without a church family is an orphan. You don’t have the support and you don’t have the foundation that you’re going to need to make it in the future.

BACK TO THE BASICS Bits and Pieces 2/22/01 p. 6

The late Vince Lombardi, the celebrated former coach of the Green Bay Packers professional football team, faced a difficult challenge one Monday morning on the practice field. A day earlier, the team had suffered a humiliating defeat to a team that wasn’t as good as they were. In Lombardi’s view, the loss was due to the players’ failure to focus on the basics in carrying out their assignments - things in which they had been drilled over and over again.

In his memorable manner, Lombardi met the challenge head on. Picking up a familiar air filled oblong shaped object, he went directly to the heart of the matter, calling everyone’s attention to the “basics” with 5 simple words: “Gentlemen, this is a football.”

BULLETIN BLOOPERS AGAIN
 * Everyone is asked to bring a jar of peanut butter which will be forwarded to Potter’s House for distribution as part of the Food Baskets for greedy families during the month of June.

* The new parking area looks great.  Thanks to the men who turned out Saturday to help with the groveling.
* A special thank you is extended to the members of the congregation who supported the dinner at the Community Outreach Center on Friday, May 11. Thank you for the generous amounts of food and to the shavers who came:
* We “raised the roof” both in monetary donations and excitement to help get started on construction effort.   Thank you to the over 100 people who filled the Community Center to help us with our
destruction fund for the new fellowship hall.
* Remember our time, talents and our financial resources are all gifts from God. Stewardship of these gifts is important. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! 
* Are you ready for this? Invite some neighbors and come along for the Vacation Bible School picnic! Please register so we will have enough food on the clipboard in the fellowship hall.

QUOTE: “A church is the only organization that exists primarily for the benefit of non-members.” C.S. Lewis

ITCHING EARS IN AMERICA Lisa Richardson Los Angeles Times quoted in The Indianapolis Star 5/19/02 Section A5

The alienation of moderates and liberals from conservative Christian political positions is a key reason why the percentage of Americans who claim no religion doubled during the 1990’s, two University of California, Berkeley, sociologists say.

Michael Hout and Claude Fischer analyzed data from annual public opinion surveys on religion taken by numerous organizations to reach their conclusion, published in the American Sociological Review.

The survey showed that the proportion of Americans who said they have “no religious preference” rose from about 7 % to 14% by the end of the decade - a significant change after remaining stable for most of 20 years.

But the increase does not necessarily signal a decrease in faith, the researchers said. The majority of those who claim no religious affiliation continue to hold conventional religious beliefs. Most of the increase in people with no religious preference in the 90’s was composed of believers, not atheists or agnostics.

“One of the points we are trying to make is that most people who have no church still are likely to say things like “God is real. Heaven and hell are real. Me and my kids will go there when we’re dead,’“ said Hout.

HITLER’S GOALWalton Witness, 6/15/02

In it’s column “You Asked Us” a Canadian Magazine dealt with Hitler’s use of the swastika. Apparently, the Swastika was meant to be more than the a national symbol - it was intended as a replacement for the cross. The magazine stated:

“In the end, if his National Reich church had been established, the swastika would have replaced the cross. Point 30 of the proposed National Reich Church’s 30 point program, drawn up during the war, read: ‘On the day of its foundation, the Christian cross must be removed from all churches, cathedrals, and chapels… It must be superseded by the only unconquerable symbol, the swastika.’“

DID YOU KNOW.. Joe McKeever First Baptist Church in Kenner, La. Reprinted from The Western Recorder, a publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention.

Did you know that after the move “Bambi” came out, deer hunting-related purchases in the United States dropped off by 25 percent the next year?
Did you now that after Clark Gable took off his dress shirt in a movie and was not wearing an undershirt, sales of undershirts the next year dropped off to nearly nothing?
Did you know that after a movie in which a teen stood in the middle of a busy street with cars zooming by on both sides, several kids tried to do the same and paid with their lives?
Did you know that after me movie “Natural Born Killers” was released, at least 30 people have been murdered by young people influence by what they saw on the screen?
Did you know that after the phenomenal box office success of the movie “Titanic” more than one young person lost his life trying to stand on the outer bow of a ship the way the stars did in the movie?
Did you know that after the movie “E.T.” debuted, sales of Reece’s Pieces soared into the stratosphere?
Did you know that movie makers take in big money from companies that want their product shown on the big screen?
And did you know that these same movie people want us to believe movies do not influence young people negatively, so they should not be subject to censorship or be held to any kind of
community standards erected for the protection of our young people? Go figure.
Finally, did you know that responsible parents do not buy that argument and do not allow their youths to buy those products or go to movies they deem inappropriate?
The mother who teaches her children to wash their hands and brush their teeth should make a commitment to safeguard their minds as well.  The father who would not allow a child-abuser into his home should likewise make it a priority to protect his family from abusive movies, dirty books, and harmful music.
As a parent, you should make a commitment to do such things not because you are a right-wing activist or a reactionary nut, but just because you love your children.  Period.
Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

IT’S REPLACED WHEN IT BREAKS

I have heard that there is a monastery in Greece perched high on a cliff, several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery is to be suspended in a basket which is pulled to the top by several monks who pull and tug with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket is terrifying.
  One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
  The monk thought for a moment and answered serenely: “Whenever it breaks.”

QUOTE: Every congregation is filled with pillars who hold up the church, and caterpillars who crawl in and out every Sunday. Which are you? - Shane VanNatter

OTHER KINGDOMSUncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader

GRANBIA

Founding Father: Andrew Richardson, a Liverpool postal worker.

History: In the 1970’s Richardson declared his semi-detached flat to be the independent nation of Granbia (the rest of the building remained a part of the United Kingdom).

What happened: He lost interest, and the apartment reverted to England by default.

NEW ATLANTIS

Founding Father: Leicester Hemingway, the little brother of author Ernest Hemingway

History: In 1964, he built an 8 by 30 foot floating bamboo platform 7 miles off the coast of Jamaica, anchoring it to the ocean floor with a Ford engine block. “I can stand on the platform, walk around on it, and salute the flag, all of which I do periodically,” Hemingway bragged to reporters. “There are no taxes here, because taxes are for people not smart enough to start their own countries.”

What happened: Part of the country was destroyed by fishermen in search of scrap wood; the rest sank in a storm.

HUTT RIVER PROVINCE PRINCIPALITY

Founding Father: “prince” Leonard George Casely, an Australian wheat farmer.

History: When the Western Australia Wheat Quota board limited the amount of wheat he could grow in 1969, Casely and his 18,500 acre farm seceded. He designed his own national flag and motto, printed his own money, and set up his own parliament.

What happened: Australia refused to recognize his sovereignty, so in 1977 he declared war. Nothing came of it - he backed down two days later and re-established diplomatic relations. Casely claims he pays no Australian taxes, but he admits he makes payments to the Australian government as an “international courtesy.”

ISLE OF THE ROSES

Founding Father: Giorgio Rosa, an Italian engineering professor

History: Rosa built a tower in the Adriatic sea large enough to contain a bar, restaurant, and post office, and declared independence from Italy.

What happened: the Italian government ignored him at first - but after a while they invaded the tower and blew it up.

SOLAR ATLANTIC EMPIRE

Founding Father: David Owen, a writer for the Atlantic Monthly

History: Owen wanted to form his own country but couldn’t find any available land. So he took -possession of the Sun, one of the last unclaimed territories in the solar system. He backed up his claim by writing a letter to the US State Department asking for official recognition. “The sun should now be referred to as the Solar Atlantic Empire,” he wrote. “And I, henceforth, will be known as Lord High Suzerain of Outer Space.”

What happened: The State Department wrote back saying that it was unable to consider his application.

POTLUCK MEANS:Uncle John’s 5 th Bathroom Reader

In the Middle Ages, cooks threw all their left-overs into a pot of water that was kept boiling most of the time. This makeshift stew was eaten by the family or fed to strangers when no other food was available. Since food was thrown in at random, its quality and taste depended entirely on luck.

THEY LET YOU HIT BASEBALLS IN HERE? Jake Garn R.Digest 3/02 p. 97

On a spring break trip to Italy, my friends and I were standing just inside St. Peter’s Basilica, the 2 nd largest church in the world. The tour guide explained, “This church is so large no man on earth could hit a baseball from one end to the other. Not Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth or even Mark McGwire.”

My group stared in silence at the beautiful marble sculptures, intricate paintings and glorious mosaics all around all around the enormous building. Then one girl interrupted the silence with an astonished question: “You mean, they actually let them hit baseballs in here?”

CONQUERING KINGS Contributed by: David Fox

“Of thirty Roman emperors, governors of provinces and others in high office, who distinguished themselves by their zeal and bitterness in persecuting the early Christians, one became speedily deranged after some atrocious cruelty, one was slain by his own son, one became blind, the eyes of one started out of his head, one was drowned, one was strangled, one died in a miserable captivity, one fell dead in a manner that will not bear recital, one died of so loathsome a disease that several of his physicians were put to death because they could not abide the stench that filled his room, two committed suicide, a third attempted it but had to call for help to finish the work, five were assassinated by their own people or servants, five others died the most miserable and excruciating deaths, several of them having an untold complication of diseases, and eight were killed in battles, or after being taken prisoners.

Among these was Julian the Apostate. In the days of his prosperity he is said to have pointed his dagger to heaven, defying the Son of God whom he commonly called the Galilean. But when he was wounded in battle, he saw that all was over with him, and he gathered up his clotted blood and threw it into the air, exclaiming, thou has conquered, O thou Galilean.” ( Boise 25)

JOHNNY’S CHURCH
A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. The mother turned around to do some work.
A while later she heard meowing and scratching on the door. She went to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the window and said, “Johnny, stop that! You’ll drown those kittens.”
Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his voice: “They shoulda had thought about that before they joined MY church.”

A BIG MAN PLAYING SMALLOur Daily Bread 1/5/02

Columnist William Raspberry says that when the church fails to offer spiritual help, it is “playing away from its strength.” It’s like a 7 foot basketball player who attempts long jumpshots, or when he’s near the basket keeps bringing the ball down to chest level before shooting. Coaches refer to a tall player who wastes his height advantage as a ‘big man playing small.’“

We are like that basketball player when we focus solely on meeting physical needs, but fail to give out the life transforming salvation message that God has entrusted to us. It is commendable to be kind and generous in providing for others. But if we fail to point them to the answer for their deepest need, if we do not introduce them to Jesus Christ, we are “playing away from our strength.”

PLAY GOLF ON SUNDAY?

A church suddenly stopped buying pencils from a certain office supply. The manager called the preacher to ask what the problem was. The preacher, “We ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to sign their visitors’ card.” “Well,” the manager said, “Didn’t you receive them from us?”
The preacher replied, “Oh, yes, we received them all right, BUT YOU SENT US SOME PENCILS STAMPED WITH THE WORDS, ‘PLAY GOLF NEXT SUNDAY’!”

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE A DOOR?

That reminds me of a story about a guy who inadvertently ended up visiting a snake handling church. They met in an old one-room church building in the backwoods of Arkansas. He didn’t realize what he was into until the minister started pulling rattlesnakes out of a burlap bag and passing them up one side of the aisle and down the other. The man had never seen anything like this before, and he certainly wasn’t interested in somebody handing him a snake at all!
Frantically, he began turning one way and then another, looking for a way out. But the only exit he could see was up past where the preacher was passing out the snakes. Turning to the guy next to him he asked, “Where Is the back door? I’ve got to get out of here!” The man answered, “We ain’t got one.” So he asked, “Alright then, where would you like one?”

MY WIFE IS SICK IN BED

Two men were out fishing on Sunday morning and were beginning to feel guilty about it especially since the fish weren’t biting. One said to the other, “I guess I should have stayed home and gone to church.”
The other fisherman replied, “I COULDN’T HAVE GONE TO CHURCH ANYWAY...MY WIFE IS SICK IN BED.”

EINSTEIN AND THE CHURCH Brett Blair, www.eSermons.com, June 2001
Albert Einstein, the German born mathematician, slowly watched his homeland give in to Adolf Hitler’s fascist dictatorship. Einstein wondered if any were going to stand up and oppose Hitler. He said, and I quote, “When Hitlerism came to Germany I expected the Universities to oppose it. Instead they embraced it. I hoped for the press to denounce it, but instead they propagated its teachings. One by one the leaders and institutions which should have opposed the Nazi philosophy bowed meekly to its authority. Only one institution met it with vigorous opposition and that was the Christian Church.”
Einstein confessed, “That which I once despised, I now love with a passion I cannot describe.” The commitment of the Church in standing against evil made a profound impression upon Albert Einstein. Those individuals in the 1930’s understood the cost associated with their actions, and they did not back down. The church today can do no less.

BULLETIN MAYHEM

Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon from J.F. Stubbs.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
While Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

NEW CHURCH NAMES John Green, “Newly formed churches,” The Door, March-April 2000, p. 15

The wrong way to achieve unity in the church is to try and appeal to everyone. The church humor magazine “The Door” facetiously announced these newly formed churches seeking to do just that:
Potluck Assembly
Little Bit O’Bible Church
Church of the Big P.A.
The Short-Term Pastor Center
Theology-Free Church
The Inaccurate Heart of Mary Catholic Church
Seldom United Church
Bill Gates’ Memorial Geek Orthodox
New Wife Fellowship
Church of the Perpetual Building Program
Comfortable Pew Family Center
Clean Bathroom Bible Temple
Better Than the Rest Believer’s Fellowship
Legalist Bondage Assembly
The Church Where the Pastor’s Family Runs Everything
The Two-Or-More-But-Sometimes-Less-Depending-On-Who-Shows-Up Bible Church
Feelgood Fellowship
Twist-and-Shout Revival Center

WHAT BUSINESS ARE WE IN? Brett Blair, www.eSermons.com, May, 2001

In the late 1800’s, no business matched the financial and political dominance of the railroad. Trains dominated the transportation industry of the United States, moving both people and goods throughout the country.
Then a new discovery came along-the car-and incredibly, the leaders of the railroad industry did not take advantage of their unique position to participate in this transportation development. The automotive revolution was happening all around them, and they did not use their industry dominance to take hold of the opportunity. In his video tape The Search for Excellence, Tom Peters points out the reason: The railroad barons did not understand what business they were in. Peter observes that “they thought they were in the train business. But, they were in fact in the
transportation business. Time passed them by, as did opportunity. They couldn’t see what their real purpose was.”
If the railroad barons at the turn of the century had understood that they were in the transportation business and not the train business we would all be driving a Gould and not a Ford. The same thing happened in the watch and clock industry. The Swiss had dominated time keeping. They controlled 90% of all revenues made in their industry. They made the most precise gears and springs in the world. Their watches and clocks were perfect.
Then something new happened called the Quartz movement-LCD readout. Guess who invented it. A Swiss man. But because it had no gears or knobs or springs it was rejected. They failed to recognize that they were in the business of helping people tell time not making precision gears. They lost their dominance in the industry. They now control 20% of all revenue. Seiko is the dominant leader.
“If Sports Illustrated magazine understood it was in the sports information business, not the publishing business, we would have the Sports Illustrated Channel, not ESPN.”
And folks, if we in the Methodist Church, forget that our purpose is making disciples for Jesus Christ we will also become obsolete. If we loose our focus and get distracted by tradition, habit, custom, ritual, routine, we will go the way of the trains, the Swiss, and Sports Illustrated. We must remember our basic identity. We must-whenever, however, wherever-fulfill our basic purpose.

WHY THEY DON’T COME--ON Mission, July/Aug 2001, p. 46-48
In an article for On Mission Magazine, Dianne Butts, gave the top ten reasons she’s heard
why people skip church. Here’s what she wrote,
10. I’ve been thinking I’d like to go to church. But I don’t know anyone. And I don’t know
what to do, where to go, what to expect when I get there.
9. I don’t believe in God. Christians are dangerous fanatics, politically unpopular and always
trying to shove their beliefs on others.
8. There are so many denominations. . . even Christians can’t agree among themselves what
the Bible means.
7. There are so many churches. I don’t know which one to go to. Why should I come to
yours
6. Church is for “good” people who haven’t messed up. You don’t know where I’ve been or
what I’ve done.
5. Church is not important.
4. I don’t need to go to church. I can worship God, even when I’m fishing.
3. I don’t have nice clothes to wear to church.
2. I don’t have time. Sunday morning is the only day I can sleep late.
1. People in churches are hypocrites.

THE CHURCH OF GOD GRILL

Charles Paul Conn tells of the time when he lived in Atlanta. He noticed in the Yellow Pages, in the listing of restaurants, an entry for a place called Church of God Grill. The peculiar name aroused his curiosity and he dialed the number. A man answered with a cheery, “Hello! Church of God Grill!” He asked how the restaurant had been given such an unusual name, and the man at the other end said: “Well, we had a little mission down here, and we started selling chicken dinners after church on Sunday to help pay the bills. Well, people liked the chicken, and we did such a good business, that eventually we cut back on the church service. After a while we just closed down the church altogether and kept on serving the chicken dinners. We kept the name we started with, and that’s Church of God Grill.”

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend
by the hand and pulled him aside.
The preacher said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Preacher."
The preacher questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

QUOTE: He cannot have God for his father, who does not have the church for his mother. – Augustine

I'M TOLD THAT THESE ARE ACTUAL NAMES OF CHURCHES – Noella on Sermon_Fodder.com

QUOTE: Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

QUOTE: People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.

CALL WAITING David Faust The Lookout 10/8/2000

According to a new study by the Barna Research Group, a hurting world may be calling the church for help, but nobody’s answering the phone. Evangelical Press reports that contact with a human being could not be made by phone at 40% of America’s Protestant Churches. Almost half of these churches (44%) did not even have an answering machine available to take a message. Researchers called 3,764 churches nationwide, and even tried multiple callbacks – as many as 12 – in an effort to reach a human being during regular business hours on weekdays.

George Barn, president of the firm that conducted the study, points out tat this raises serious concern about the accessibility of churches to the public. "In a world where people are extremely busy and are suspicious of the practical value of churches, they are not likely to make 3 or 4 calls to a church before they speak to a human being," says Barna. "When we make it difficult of people to get our attention, we send a negative message about the heart of the church while also training them to look elsewhere during their times of need."

A Churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I
have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me I can't remember a single one of them. So I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:
I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall what the menu was for a single one of those meals. But
I do know this: they all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me those meals, I would be dead today."

THE MINISTER LET ME IN FREE

CRIME FIGHTING SUNDAY SCHOOL Break Point 8/31/98 Chuck Colson

I stood next to Prince Philip when I was at Buckingham Palace for the Templeton Price ceremonies 2 years ago. We were surrounded by dignitaries.

"Mr. Colson, what can we do about crime here in England?" he asked.

I told him, "Send more young British children to Sunday school."

He smiled, thinking I was joking.

"Not at all," I said. "Professor Christie Davies at the University of Reading conducted a study that showed when Sunday School attendance was highest in England, crime was lowest. Conversely, when Sunday School attendance declined, the crime rate increased. Send young boys to Sunday School," I continued, "so they can be taught the basics of Christian morality."

IT MUST BE A FRANCHISE Sermon - Fodder

On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was the First Baptist Church. "It must be a franchise,"
her eight-year-old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too."

PEOPLE DON’T TAKE KINDLY TO CHANGE

Hundreds of years ago, the workmen in Paris who made quill pens rioted against the introduction of the printing press. A Danzig mob drowned the inventor of a weaving loom in 1661. Bargemen on the Fulda River destroyed Denis Papin’s steamboat in 1707, setting back steam propulsion in ships almost one hundred years.

John Bisagno tells of candidating for a small church located in downtown Houston, TX. He said that when he walked in, he was met by a few people in a dimly lit sanctuary. During their worship service, the songs they sang were like funeral dirges and the whole atmosphere was a depressing experience.

Now, later that day, he was walking around the downtown district of Houston and he saw that a jewelry store was having a grand opening. He went in and was met by a bright and cheerful atmosphere. They were playing upbeat and happy music, there were friendly and enthusiastic people greeting him. They offered him some punch to drink and showed him around the store.

He remarked that if they had given an invitation – he would have joined the jewelry store rather than the church.

Calhoun was a favorite ball carrier of the local fans, but on this particular day, the quarterback was not giving him the ball. The game wore on; the home team was behind and the fans grew increasingly impatient. The next time the home team got the ball, the fans began to chant: "Give the ball to Calhoun, give the ball to Calhoun."

On the 2^nd play the quarterback dropped back to pass and was smothered for an 8 yard loss. It was the 3^rd down and 18, and the chant, "give the ball to Calhoun" was so loud that the team could not hear the quarterback in the huddle. Finally, in frustration, the quarterback walked out of the huddle and motioned for silence from the crowd. Then he cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted to the crowd: "CALHOUN DOESN’T WANT THE BALL!"

Too often today, the cause of Christ is thrown for a loss because the church members do not want to carry the bal. Each person who makes Christ Lord is a member of His team with the responsibility and privilege of carrying the ball for Him.

COVERING MY INDIFFERENCE Peni-News

"Almighty God as I sit here tonight, surrounded by newspapers and half watching TV, it just came to me that I have to lied to Thee and to myself. I said that I was too tired to got to Church tonight. That was not true. I would have gone to a football game, PTA, lodge meeting, or any place I wanted to go. Being ‘too tired’ seemed to cover up my indifference. God, forgive me for I have lied to Thee and to myself. I am not ‘too tired; I am indifferent. Warm my cold heart, O God, for that is the reason why I stayed home. Amen.

MAKING MISTAKES TO SUCCEED John Wooden They Call Me Coach

The team that makes the most mistakes will probably win." Translation: The team that makes the most mistakes will probably win because it is the team that has the courage to keep surging ahead and not try to rest securely on a lead.

As the story goes, they built a new church building and people came from far and wide to see it. They admired its beauty! Up on the roof, a little nail heard the people praising everything about the lovely structure-except the nail! No one even knew he was there, and he became angry and jealous.
"If I am that insignificant, nobody will miss me if I quit!" So the nail then released its hold, slid down the roof, and fell in the mud.
That night it rained and rained. Soon, the shingle that had no nail blew
away, and the roof began to leak. The water streaked the walls and the beautiful murals. The plaster began to fall, the carpet was stained, and the pulpit Bible was ruined by water. All this because a little nail decided to quit!
But what of the nail? While holding the shingle, it was obscure but it was also useful. Buried in the mud it was just as obscure, but now it was useless and would soon be eaten up by rust!
The moral of the story-EVERY MEMBER IS IMPORTANT TO THE CHURCH! You may, like the nail, feel obscure at times, but just like the nail, your absence is felt. When you are not present for worship, in some way the body of Christ hurts. We are ALL a part of the Lord's ministry.

WHAT IS A CHURCH?

The church is never a place

But always a people

Never a fold, but always a flock

Never a sacred building, but always a believing assembly

The church is you who pray, not where you pray

A structure of brick or marble can no more be a Church

Than your cloths of serge or satin can be you.

A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said.
The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach."
"Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman.
"Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three months."

Hold this paper close to your nose and breath deeply.
If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.
If it turns blue see your dentist.
If it turns red see your bank manager.
If it turns black, you need to check your will - so see your lawyer immediately.
If, however, it does not change color then there is nothing wrong with you and so there is no reason why you should not be in church again next week.

When Larry Bird attended his first practice with the Indiana Pacers, he was immediately confronted by Roger Rim Shot, the oldest player on the team. Roger let it be known that he was concerned, even upset that the food vendors were going to be offering Pepsi products for sale in the arena during the upcoming season. He was so upset that if the decision wasn't made to switch back to Coca Cola products, then he was going to quit the team, and everybody knew what that would mean.

A word about Roger. He was thirty nine years old, and in his long career with the Pacers, he had scored a grand total of two points. During a game in his 5^th year with the team, the Pacers were leading by 20 points, there was one second left to play in the 4^th quarter, and somehow Roger was fouled. He took his foul shots and made both of them. With those numbers, how did he manage to stay on the team?

It seems that Roger's uncle Phil had the Freetos franchise in the arena, and that he also

Sponsored the team with a modest $15,000 per season. The sponsorship not only cost the team a spot on their electronic bulletin boards, it also came with the stipulation that Roger would always have a place to play on the NBA team. If Roger left for any other reason than his resignation under warm and friendly circumstances, away went the Freetos' deal.

So here the new coach was faced with a dilemma, to bow to Roger's pressure, or to keep his vision focused on the job at hand, which was to put together a winning program.

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"

Everything we do in the church building we call "service." We have a song service, worship service, prayer service, etc. We need to do some serving outside the building

Princess Pauline Musters, Robert Earl Hughes, Brother Giovanni Battista Orsenigo & Roland E. Daab

What do all of these people have in common? They appear in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.

Princess Pauline got her name in the book for being the shortest full grown adult who ever lived. She measured only 23.3 inches tall. At her heaviest she weighed only 9 pounds.

Robert Earl Hughes was the heaviest human being of all time – he weighed 1069 pounds. At his funeral he was buried in a piano case. Incidentally, this was before the famous "Subway" diet.

Brother Giovanni Battista Orsenigo was a religious dentist who practiced his profession religiously. He saved all the teeth that he extracted during his career from 1868 until 1904. When all were counted there were 2,000,744 teeth.

Roland E. Daab of Columbia, Illinois had 57 years of perfect Sunday School attendance.

Of all of these people only one is the most note worthy. That a person could be committed to Sunday School for 57 years – now that is an impressive record. We may not be able to break that record, but we should all strive to make the same commitment.

HE VISITED HIS OLD CHURCH Bill Collins Walton Witness 7/15/2000

We had the opportunity to attend church at the Anderson Christian Church in Lawrenceburg, KY this last Sunday. I loved it. You see, Anderson Christian Church is my home church. I grew up there and I am the 1^st Timothy (preacher) brought up in that congregation. As I walked through the door of the church a flood of memories hit me. I remembered Cissy Shouse, my youth group leader, and her laugh. I thought of all the kids I grew up with in the youth group. I could see Brother Rankin in the pulpit. Mr. Ritter coaching our church’s softball team. Memory after memory flooded my mind and I could see it all as clear as if I were watching it.

But I was not watching it. I was only remembering it. The church I grew up in had changed. Brother Rankin is no longer there. Cissy is not leading the youth group. Mr. Ritter is not coaching the softball team. The church I had grown up loving was not the church I attended Sunday morning. It had changed. Some of the changes were expected, others were not. Let me give you a short list of the things I noticed that had changed:

• Instead of Brother Rankin in the pulpit there was a gentleman everyone simply referred to as Vern
• Instead of one service there were now two. We had to decide which one to attend.
• Instead of one person leading the singing there were 5.
• Instead of sitting in a sanctuary that seated 200 people, we sat in an expanded sanctuary that seated 300
• Instead of attending Sunday School in the basement we met in the educational wing of the building.
• Instead of knowing everyone, I recognized only about 30 people.
• Instead of singing with a piano, we sang with a guitar and a keyboard.
• Instead of singing from a songbook we sang from a computer generated image of words projected up on a giant video screen.
• Instead of singing the hymns we sang choruses.
• Instead of everyone saying Amen after special music, everyone clapped (shock of all shocks)

I could go on. I looked around and thought, "This is not the church I grew up in!"
But I soon realized that this was the church I grew up in. This is what the founders of Anderson Christian set out to build. They wanted to build a church that would bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of their lives. The asked themselves, "What will it take for us to reach the people of Lawrenceburg with the gospel of Christ!" The above changes came from asking and re-asking that question over the years. The changes made allowed Anderson Christian to continue to reach this goal.

Now if a New Testament congregation could become wretchedly deferential by dreams of sudden wealth then we must not think that this is a very remote possibility for ourselves. The 10,000th member to be welcomed into a prominent Baptist Church in Dallas was announced as taking place the following week. Who was it ? Not the old lady who was number 10,001 but the kicker of the Dallas Cowboys. Gordon Keddie says, "A church in Pittsburgh advertised the personal appearance one Lord's Day of a famous star of the Cleveland Browns. A former Miss America travels the circuit of certain charismatic churches and her very glamorous portrait is featured that Sunday in the newspaper advertisements inviting people to attend these churches. Come to church, in other words, to hobnob with the great and bask in their reflected glory ! The use of such attractions, not excluding the periodic ministrations of the current crop of celebrity preachers (without whom, some people seem to believe, effective ministry would vanish from the face of the earth), cannot shake off the taint of undue respect for persons" (The Practical Christian, Evangelical Press, 1989, p.94). I was taken on a tour of a university founded by a man who claims to be a healer. We were given a film presentation of life in that college, but not one picture of a person in a wheelchair or a blind student was shown. You cannot have them in a university whose chancellor states he can perform miracles. People in churches are still being bought by wealth and by power today.

HATFIELD AND McCOYS – Tim Seevers The Pleasantviewer June 2000

The family feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys is well known. These southerners disliked each other so much and fought with one another so long, that their names will be associated forever with conflict and rivalry.

The hostility between these two families lasted 12 years and claimed the lives of 12 people – 3 Hatfields, 7 McCoys and 2 outsiders. What caused such animosity between neighbors? It started with a simple dispute over the ownership of a hog. I am certain that neither Mr. Hatfield or Mr. McCoy believed that a hog was more important than his own son – yet each sacrificed the lives of family members in a stubborn refusal to reconcile.

This is the nature of conflict – it often starts small and quickly mushrooms into WWIII. John Bisagno tells about a church that had grown to the point of needing a new building. After the building was completed, a disagreement arose as to which side of the auditorium to put the piano. Words were exchanged, tempers flared, and the church ultimately split. The side that "won" kept the building, but they no longer needed the extra seating and could not afford to pay the mortgage on the new facility.

The church was in deep trouble. It seemed the members and the pastor could agree upon nothing, and controversy filled the air until Sunday itself became an area of conflict and unhappiness filled the church. The pastor tried in vain to settle the issues, but with no luck.
Finally, the president of the church board approached the pastor and said: "This cannot be allowed to continue. Come, there must be a conference, and we must settle all areas of dispute once and for all."
The pastor agreed.
At the appointed time, the pastor, the president, and ten other members of the church board met in the conference room, sitting about a magnificent mahogany table.
One by one the issues were dealt with and on each issue, it became more and more apparent that the pastor was a lonely voice in the wilderness.
The president said, "Come, Pastor, enough of this. Let us vote and allow the majority to rule."
He passed out the slips of paper and each person made his mark. The slips were collected and the president said, "You may examine them, Pastor. It is eleven to one against you. We have the majority."
Whereupon the pastor rose to his feet in offended majesty. "So," he said, "you now think because of the vote that you are right and I am wrong. Well, that is not so. I stand here" - and he raised his arms impressively - "and call upon the Lord God Almighty to give us a sign that I am right and you are wrong."
Through the large window of the room they could see it was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the pastor finished his prayer, an enormous storm cloud moved across the sky. It rumbled once and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill, then it dissolved.
"A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the others disagreed, insisting that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
So the pastor prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!"
There came a frightful crack of thunder and a brilliant flash of lightning that struck the Mahogany table and cracked it in two. The room was filled with smoke and fumes and the board members were hurled to the floor.
Through the carnage, the pastor remained erect and untouched, his eyes flashing and a grim smile on his face. Slowly, the president lifted himself out from under what was left of
the table. His hair was singed, his glasses were hanging from one ear, his clothing was in disarray. Yet he still insisted that this could be explained by natural causes, and the rest of the board agreed with him.
The pastor gave an enormous sigh, and prayed: "Dear Lord, how can we convince these stubborn fools?"
The sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The pastor put his hands on his hips, turned to the others, and said, "Well?"
"All right," shrugged the president. "Eleven to two. We still have the majority."

QUOTE: Chuck Swindoll says: "Tradition is the living faith of the dead. Traditionalism is the dead faith of the living."

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up...
The rabbi, educated as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98 year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.
The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"
The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."
The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?"
The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition."
"But", the rabbi said to the old man, "the congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether....."
The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition!"

BULLETIN BLOOPERS
1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds

will be used to cripple children.
2. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their

electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
3. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back

door.
4. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break

Forth Into Joy."
5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
6. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement

Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
7. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

8. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev.

and Mrs. Adams.
9. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early

and listen to our choir practice.
10. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large

double door at the side entrance.

11. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
12. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the

girth of their first child.
13. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans,

bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
14. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
15. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
16. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on

the altar.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new

members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join

the choir.

QUOTE: Jesus saves ... the rest of us better make backups.

QUOTE: Saint under construction ... please excuse the mess.

"PRESENT, BUT NOT VOTING" Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997).

Jeremy Bentham was the founder of London's University College. When he died in 1832, according to his instructions, his skeleton was reconstructed, given a wax head, dressed in his best suit, and put in a glass case in the meeting room of the college's board of governors. For many years the deceased Bentham attended every meeting of the board and was always described in the minutes as "present, but not voting." Sometimes we are present, but not serving!

A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their letter back the following Sunday. One little boy wrote, "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have been there."

On Sunday morning, September 27, 1959, President Eisenhower invited Khrushchev to accompany him to a worship service at Gettysburg Presbyterian Church. The Red leader declined. What did Eisenhower do? Eisenhower went without him. Now, what do you think would have made a better impression for the Gospel? For Eisenhower to go or to "out of good manners" stay with Khrushchev? After all, they did only have a limited amount of time to be together. Their meeting was undoubtedly important. These were the two leaders of the greatest nations on earth. Yet, I believe, a greater statement was made about the importance of the Christian faith by Eisenhower going without Khrushchev, then would have ever been made if Eisenhower had stayed home. Yet there are some who would never leave their guests to go to church. What are we saying to people?

WHAT’S IN A NAME Christian Standard 2/20/2000 p. 3

To circumvent stereotypes, some churches are dropping any reference to A denominational affiliation from their names, according to a recent Associated Press news report. These congregations reveal theological ties only after they get the chance to make a good first impression on prospective members.

Critics say that the practice alienates ready-made constituencies and implies shame about a heritage. Supporters argue that it's the best way to attract a generation for whom worship style and church activities are more important than denomination.
One example in the article is the Fairfield Glade Community Church. It is listed in the phone book under Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, and Interdenominational! Of the nearly 42,000 churches the Southern Baptist Convention tracks by computer, about 900 do not have "Baptist" in their name, the article added.
For those of us who have long insisted that one need wear "no name but the divine," it is encouraging to see believers in Jesus wanting to drop labels and to be known just as Christians. At the same time, it means we must teach clearly "the whole counsel of God" so that folk in the churches we serve will be able to test any congregation by Scripture, not by label.
A biblical name on the door does not necessarily mean that a church is "true to the Bible." It is, however a good place to start.

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping?"

QUOTE: A poor church comes about when good church goers sit on their hands instead of standing on their feet. Bits & Pieces 4/2/92

THE PERFECT CHURCH Poem

I think that I shall never see

A church that’s all that it should be;

A church whose members never stray

Beyond the straight and narrow way;

A church that has no empty pews

Whose preacher never has the blues;

A church whose deacons always deek

And none are proud and all are meek.

Where gossips never peddle lies

Or make complaints or criticize;

Where all are always sweet and kind

And all to other’s faults are blind;

Such perfect churches there may be

But none of them is known to me

But still I’ll work and pray and plan

To make our own the best I can.

PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU TODAY Richard Himes in R.Digest 9/99 p. 131

I admit I’m not a regular churchgoer, so I was a bit uncomfortable when my wife talked me into being a greeter one Sunday. But after a few minutes passing out bulletins, I started to warn up to the job.

Things were going pretty well until a distinguished looking gentleman approached. "Good morning," I offered. "It’s a pleasure to have you with us today."

"Thank you very much, and may I say the same to you," said the man, shaking my hand… "as your minister."

WHAT IS THE CHURCH?
Russ Blowers is a minister in Indianapolis. He is active in the Rotary club there. Each week a different club member gives a brief statement about his job. But Russ said, instead of saying, "I'm a minister, this is what I said."
"Hi, I'm Russ Blowers. I'm with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have our representatives in nearly every parliament and board room on earth. We're into motivation and behavior alteration.
We run hospitals, feeding stations, crisis pregnancy centers, universities, publishing houses and nursing homes. We care for our clients from birth to death.
We are into life insurance and fire insurance. We perform spiritual heart transplants. Our original Organizer owns all the real estate on earth plus an assortment of galaxies and constellations. He knows everything and lives everywhere. Our product is free for the asking.( There's not enough money to buy it.)
Our CEO was born in a hick town, worked as a carpenter, didn't own a home, was misunderstood by his family, hated by enemies, walked on water, was condemned to death without a trial, and arose from the dead--I talk with Him everyday.

THEY’RE HUSHERS

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

poem: IT ISN’T THE CHURCH – IT’S YOU Anonymous

If you want to have the kind of church like the kind of church you like,

You needn’t put your clothes in a bag and start a long, long hike,

You’ll only find what you left behind, for there’s nothing really new,

It’s a knock at yourself when you knock your church; it isn’t the church, it’s you.

(make up a few more phrases)

They haul the tables, set up the chairs

Adjust the lighting at all affairs.

They type the paper, run the machines,

Practice the music, then in between

They weed and water and plant and hoe

They sweep the walk and shovel and mow

Who is they?

They wash the dishes by the score,

They scrub the tables and clean the floor

They fix communion , do every chore,

And act as "greeters" at the door.

Who is they?

They teach the children, they bring the cookies and juice,

They phone the absent and hear excuses.

They straighten the nursery, empty the waste

They pick up the crayons and cap the paste,

Who is they?

They make the coffee and pour the tea,

They help wherever the need may be.

They tithe from their income,

They pay the bills, turn on the speakers

And dust the sills.

Who is they?

They do the things behind the scene,

Which, left undone, could only mean

The church would show a bit more wear,

Be a bit less ready, show a bit less care;

Be a bit less welcome and warm and free

To be the church it ought to be!

Who is they?

Quite ungrammatically, "they" we say:

They is we… now is you they??

QUOTE: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO MOVE A BARN Leadership Fall 96, p. 69

Herman Ostry’s barn floor was under 29 inches of water because of a rising creek. The Bruno, Nebraska farmer invited a few friends to a barn raising. He needed to move his entire 17,000 pound barn to a new foundation more than 143 feet away. His son Mike devised a lattice work of steel tubing, and nailed, bolted, and welded it on the inside and outside of the barn. Hundreds of handles were attached.

After one practice lift, 344 volunteers slowly walked the barn up a slight incline, each supporting less than 50 pounds. In just 3 minutes, the barn was on its new foundation.

HARMONY - Wayne Brouwer, Holland, Michigan

The German philosopher Schopenhauer compared the human race to a bunch of porcupines huddling together on a cold winter’s night. He said, "The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth; but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills. And in the lonely night of earth’s winter eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness."

Christ has given us an alternative: to forgive each other for the pokes we receive. That allows us to stay together and stay warm.

10. You have to assign numbers to people who want to share their testimony in worship.

9. As the preacher closes the sermon, the chant of "We want more! We want more!,"

erupts.

8. The ushers have to empty the collection plates halfway through the offering because

they are too full.

7. The choir begins to sing and just can’t stop.

6. Members begin bringing new Bibles because they have all worn out their old ones.

5. There is an influx of people asking, "Is there something I can do?"

4. New classes and small groups have to constantly be formed because so many people

want to teach and lead.

3. People offer "their seats" to newcomers.

2. The new carpet at the altar is worn out.

1. The congregation douses the preacher with a cooler of water at the end of the service.

Sure, most of that is tongue-in-cheek. But, come to think of it, why not?

* It costs six times more to attract a new customer than it does to keep an old one.

* A typical dissatisfied customer will tell 8-10 people about their problem.

* Seven of ten complaining customers will do business with you again if you resolve the complaint in their favor.

* If you resolve a complaint on the spot 95% will do business again.

* Of those customers who quit, 68% do so because of an attitude of indifference by the company or a specific individual.

In summary, all these facts say: CUSTOMER SATISFACTION EQUALS SUCCESS.

Fred Craddock tells the story about his father. A real "man's man" who always rejected offers to go to church with one statement "All they want is another name and another pledge" (meaning: they didn't care about him, all they wanted was his body and his money). Year after year, an evangelist would visit during the Revival meetings trying to get him to come and he would repeat the same phrase as he dismissed them: "all they want is another name and another pledge." That's what Craddock's father always said... all except one time.

Fred Craddock tells of how his father got cancer and finally had to go to the Veterans' Hospital to receive proper care. Over a period of time, the once burly man wasted away to a mere 78 pounds, and when Craddock made it home and visited him in his hospital room he was shocked by his father's frail appearance. He was also shocked by the appearance of the room. It was filled with flowers and cards. As Craddock went about the room looking at the flowers and reading their cards, he was struck by the fact that for the most part they came from members of the church that his father had for so long rejected.

His father motioned him to the bed, and because he could not speak due to the cancer, he weakly wrote these words on his notepad. Words from Hamlet: "Draw your breath in pain as you tell my story..."

"What's your story, dad?" Craddock asked.

Then his father wrote these three words "I Was Wrong."

A church in Florida established these rules:

1. The 10 foot rule: If you come within 10 feet of another person, from the time you get out of your car until the time you get back into your car, you should smile, make eye contact, and say "hello" (whether you know them or not)

2. The 5 minute rule: Immediately following any assembly, please use the 1st 5 minutes to seek out someone you don't know and introduce yourself. Don't discuss business or rush to a meeting. Put 1st things 1st and be friendly

3. The 2 person rule: At this church, nobody sits alone. Any visitor who enters our building should never sit by themselves. Move to where the newcomer is sitting and ask to share the seat next to them. Introduce yourself and visit with them informally about the church or other topics. Nobody should ever stand alone in the lobby either. If you notice someone who is alone, take advantage of this opportunity to get acquainted if it is someone you do not know or to talk if it is someone you do know.

MODERN DAY PERSECUTION OF CHRISTIANS R.Digest 8/97 p. 51,52,54

Never before have so many Christians been persecuted for their beliefs. An estimated 200 million to 250 million Christians are at risk in countries where such incidents occur.

"We are not talking about mere discrimination," says Nina Shea, director of the Puebla Program on Religious Freedom, "but real persecution - torture, enslavement, rape, imprisonment, forcible separation of children from parents."

Marshall notes that, contrary to perceptions held by secular and Christian Americans alike, "most Christians are not white. Christianity was in Africa before Europe, India before England, China before America. Three-fourths of all Christians live outside the West. It may be the largest Third World religion."

China's state run press, referring to Christianity, proclaimed, "If China does not want such a scene to be repeated in its land, it must strangle the baby while it is still in the manger." (noting Christianity's effect on the fall of communism in Eastern Europe).

This chilling pronouncement ignores the fact that Christianity has been rooted in China since the 7th century. It survived even Mao Zedong's 27 years of fierce repression, which culminated in the Cultural revolution of 1966-76, when countless Christians and other believers, were executed. "It was probably one of the largest intense persecutions of Christians in history," Marshall writes.

A tourist was being guided thru one of the great Cathedrals of Europe when he felt the urge to ask the guide how many people had been saved there over the past year. The guide sniffed and replied "Sir, this is a Cathedral not a Chapel."

A certain church was privileged to have a talented artist in their membership who often would paint beautiful paintings with Christian themes and display them in the church foyer. One day, he announced that the next week he would be displaying a painting of a church that symbolized death and decay. Many speculated on what would be in the portrait. Most agreed that it would most likely be a dilapidated church building in need of paint, a roof job and filled with broken windows all pointing to neglect. When the next Sunday arrived, the artist removed the sheet from his canvas and to the surprise of everyone, instead of a neglected building, they beheld a church that seemed perfect in every way. The lawn was immaculate, the steeple strong and proud, the building itself a model of architecture and everything was well kept.

The viewers mumbled that this didn't seem to represent decay at all, when the artist pointed out that thru the window of the sanctuary you could see the offering plates on a table with finely painted cobwebs. It was his symbol of a dying church.

Once upon a time (as all good stories begin), a group of people agreed that they should spend each Sunday in the presence of one another. Many were not satisfied with the 6 or 8 hours each week, but also came together each Saturday for several more hours of fellowship. They did not count the minutes past sixty. Rather, with great conviction they said, "We've come for a purpose and will not leave until it has been accomplished - even if it takes all day." Then at the end of the day, they would cheerfully pledge to return next week.

Their commitment was thing of which to marvel, as it was not a passing fancy affected by the weather. They met winter and summer! When the spring rains came and when fall's chill was in the air, other people might be heard to say, "The weather kept me at home; I was unable to be present in my spot," but not the faithful souls of whom I speak.

Their sacrifices often involved more than time. They gave of their money (as the Good Book says), for their hearts were very much involved in the weekly gathering. Not only to buy gasoline - many came from great distances - but they would often part with significant amounts of cold, hard cash for that which seemed worthy of their attention.

Sometimes they would disagree with one another as humans are prone to do. Sometimes they spoke to one another in a less than courteous way, yet they would return week after week, for their purpose for assembling was far greater than their personal likes and dislikes.

Their persistence knew no bounds. Often their numbers were so large that